Protected
by LosonczyCseperke
Summary: After Grimmjow was defeated by Ichigo, he decides he had enough of Aizen and goes to the World of the Living. He tries to live as a human, but needs help. How will he cope with his new life? And what will a certain oranged haired boy do, when he sees him? IchiGrimm. Don't like? Move on! 4th chap is co-written with Vaerin7. Don't copy ANY part of it, or there will be consequences!
1. The Beginning

**The Beginning**

The Sun shines down on me. It's hot. Too hot for me. The sand burns my bleeding wounds. It's pure agony. But it doesn't matter to me now. Only one thought occupies my mind…

_He saved me. He fuckin' saved me! I can't belive it! He crashes my pride to pieces…_

__I try to move, but it's impossible. I've lost too much blood, I can't even feel my limbs, let alone move them. My eyelids are heavy, and I can see the darkness slowly fall upon me.  
><em>Is it really the end? Fading away slowly into nothingness…?<em>

_I've always wanted to die in a fight, but I never thought I'd get my ass kicked by a kid. One who saves me from Nnoitora in the end no less. Heh! Kurosaki Ichigo… You're an interesting boy indeed. I loved fighting you. But it seems I underestimated your power. But next time I'll win! Yeah… maybe next time…_

With that in mind I let the darkness overcome me.

…

_It's dark… I can't see… I can't hear… So this is Death? It's so peaceful… Heeey wait a fuckin' minute! I can feel something on my chest! Something… wet?_

I try to open my eyes, but because of the light I have to close them. I open my eyes again, but this time slower than before as I try to get used to the light. Everything's blurry, so I blink several times. I can make out green and blue above me. As everything clears out, I look into the eyes of the arrancar child that traveled with Kurosaki. She looks at me while…

''AH! WHAT THE FUCK! YOU THREW UP ON ME! YOU LITTLE BRAT!'' I jump away from her.

That's right. That little bitch puked on me. And she looks at me so innocently. I'm about to grab her throat, when…

''I hewped ya Gwimmy-kitty.'' Uuuh, I'll definitely kill her because of that nickname… and slowly.

But then it hits me. I look at my chest to see vomit all over it and my clothes. But my wounds are healed. _Uwa! Disgusting way of healing! But what can I do? She saved me, so I owe her. Tch' whatever!_

''Where's Kurosaki?'' I ask.

''Itsygo went to swave Owihime-shan fwom Ulquiorra-swama!''

As soon as she says that, I can feel an enormous power, and it makes both of us get down on our knees. It feels like Kurosaki's… but… it's different… stronger… angrier… crueler. I hate to admit it, but I'm scared… If what the brat says is true and the Shinigami fights Ulquiorra, then the Cuatro is as good as dead. It's not that I feel sorry for him though. But it'd be a relief if I'd be able to breath. As soon as the power demonstration started, it ends as quickly… At least that's what I think.

''Oi, brat.'' She looks up at me, with fear in her eyes. ''I'll drop you at your companions', 'cause I owe you one. But then I don't wanna hear about you." She nods, so I pick her up and use my sonido to look around Las Noches. It takes only 30 minutes to find her 2 companions with some other shinigami around and…

_HAHAHAHAA! Szayel! Now look at him! Looks like his ass was kicked quite badly! Serves the bastard right! _

I put the girl down, and without a second thought she runs over her… friends? Well, whatever.

_Now what? I don't know where to go. Everyone probably thinks I'm dead. And I don't want to stay under Aizen anymore. I hope the bastard gets what he deserves._

_Or I can stay here and be the King! But the King of what? Ruins? Don't make me laugh!_

I sigh. _I_ _really don't know, what to do… I can go to the World of the Living, and see Aizen's possible downfall._ With that in mind I open a Garganta, and slowly walk through it.

As soon as I arrive, I look around in search of Aizen. I doesn't take long for me to find him, busy fighting some captain level shinigami. From my spot it seems he's about to lose. Just then a white haired boy cuts through Aizen. Seems I underestimated 'em. I'd have never thought they' be able to defeat him.

Or I was right… That bastard used his fucking Zanpakutou! Nice, really, but I'd appreciate if he gave up and died. I think I should find some nice place to stay and watch until this shit's over.

I find what I was looking for: it's inside a building. A very run down building. I can see through the window, so I can see what's going on, but the shinigami can't see me in here. Nor Aizen.

I watch excitedly, as some unknown shinigami (at least unknown to me) fight Aizen, while Kurosaki fights Gin, than goes away. Aizen becomes an Arrancar and our little hero reappears to try and save the day! Again.

_And guess what… he succeeds._

**2 weeks later**

The war ended. Soul Society won and took care of Aizen. I stayed in the Human World, and am currently walkin' towards a shop. I heard some shinigami talk about it and some kind of false bodies, gigai or something.

So here I am rounding a corner. There's a little building. Well not at all little, but it seems smaller between the buildings surrounding it. Urahara's Shop_. Imaginative…_

In front of it I can see 2 kids. The redhead is screaming orders to a little girl.

I come up to 'em and when the readhead sees who I am he quiets immediately.

''Hey, brats!" I growl at them. ''Where's the owner?" They just stand there, shock written all over their faces. _Oh, how I love being an Arrancar. Hehe! But I'm sure as Hell not a patient one_. ''I asked you something, are you deaf?" I snapped at him.

Then he slowly points to the door, and without a second thought I charge in. I haven't made it through the doorstep, when a sword's at my throat.

''What do you want, Arrancar?" asks a man. He wears green clothes, sandals and a striped hat that covers his eyes in shadow. Behind him stands a dark skinned giant. _Holy shit! His father must've been Goliath!_

''Oi, I'm not here to fight. I'm looking for some guy called Urahara or somethin'."

"That's me. Can I ask, why your looking for me?" _No, you can't, asshole! I hate people when they ask me such obvious questions…_

''I want a false body." Now that caught his attention.

He lowers his sword and gestures me to follow him. We go through the shop part of the house, then we enter the living quarters and I find myself at a small table with tea in front of me. On my right there's a dark skinned woman with purple hair, on my left there's the giant and opposite me Urahara's drinking his own tea.

''So," he lowers his cup, and looks at me. ''You'd like to have a Gigai." I nod. ''Why's that? Don't tell me you want to live as a human."

''Well…That's what I want to do, yeah. Why? Is that a problem?"

''No. It's just that I would've never thought an Espada-''

''Former Espada."

''Yes... former Espada... would like to live as a human."

''It's not like I want to. But there's nothing to do in Hueco Mundo anymore. Aizen's gone, fortunately."

'' ' Fortunately'?" The woman ask.

''Don't look at me like that, bitch! I've never loved that fucker. He was lording over us like some kind of God. I despise him with all my heart. And I'm sure all the others did too. Well 'cept Ulquiorra. He was Aizen's favorite dicksucker. I'm sure as Hell he fucked that loser every night."

''Fine, Kitty, I get it. Hehehe!" she laughs.

''What did you call me, bitch?"

''Are, are. That's enough Yoruichi. Jaegerjaquez-san, please, sit back down," Urahara says. I huff, but sit down. ''So, Jaegerjaquez-san… What benefits would I get, if I made you that body?"

''What would you like?"

''You'd agree to everything?" I can't help it, but suddenly perverted images show up in my mind. I grimace and mentally hit myself.

''It depends."

''Well… How about I use you as my test subject. I'll call for you, and you'll show up without questions."

''Fine with me."

''But… I have some conditions." _Hmm, getting interesting…_''1. You can't harm humans. 2. If a Hollow comes and you're near it, you go and kill it. 3. You have to act like a normal, hard-working person."

''Fair enough." He nods. ''So can I get that fucking body or not?"

2 hours later I'm in my Gigai. It's a fucking strange feeling. My power is totally sealed, I don't have my hole and mask. I nearly fainted, when I saw myself in the mirror without them. _Not that I'd ever admit it…._

That Yoru-bitchy gave me a little amount of money to rent a little flat at the slums of the town. Not that I'd complain. Finally I can do what I really want. And what I want to do is…PAINT! Don't laugh. It might seems funny, but it can help to calm my usually boiling mind. I got to learn it under Aizen. One of the few things why it was good to serve under him. It's not that I'm a good artist. It's just a hobby of mine.

I come across an art shop, and buy loads of paints, brushes, canvas and other things I'd need for the painting. Now satisfied I head towards home. It doesn't take long for me to arrive. I meet the previous owner who gives me the keys to my new home.

_I really didn't think it would be a nice home, but this is extreme! The plaster of the building is coming off, some of the windows are broken and I swear I hear moaning from the surrounding buildings!_

_Well, I can't do anything 'bout it._ I go in and look for my flat. 1st floor, 5th door. I open the door and grimace at the scent_. It's disgusting! They must've killed something in here!_

I close the door behind me, put down my bag full of art supplies and open the windows. _This room sure as hell needs air-changing_. Now that the most important things are done I can have a careful look around the room. The bedroom (with an ancient bed), living room and kitchen (not that I'd use it too much…) is joined. Fortunately, the bathroom is another room. A big change after my own living chamber, king sized bed, jacuzzi in the bathroom and servants for all of my needs. _Hah… what a joke!_

I settle down on my luxurious bed, take out my art supplieses and start painting. Finally! _OMG! How I missed it!_I turn off my mind, everything around me is totally worthless as I give myself to the delight of the swinging colors. I don't even know what I'm painting, but it doesn't matter anymore. It's like being in a daze. Nothing's important, all I care for is the picture I'm making.

When I come out of my daze I'm done with the picture. It's been 4 hours and I don't even remember! The Sun is about to set, so I can't really see the paiting. I quickly turn the lights on to have a better look at my painting_. Oh well…_I must be homesick, because I painted Hueco Mondo. Los Noches is towering in the distance. It's really nice though. With the Moon in her silver clothes, the white sand. Everythin' is silver, black and white and orange and brown…

... Well shit ...


	2. WorKing

WorKing

I wake up refreshed after a good sleep._ Hell, I can't even remember when I slept so well. Not since I became a hollow that's for sure. I couldn't fall in a deep sleep in the desert of Hueco Mundo, and sure as Hell not after I became an Arrancar. I couldn't trust the others... especially not Aizen._

I stretch my numb limbs and stumble my way to the bathroom. _Damn this body!_

I relieve myself, put on some clothes and get out of this hellhole. I walk down the streets aimlessly. _I have to find work… but where should I start looking for it? Maybe I should ask that Urahara dude if there's some work for me around his shop._

…

''I'm sorry Grimmjow-kun, but there's no work for you here, and I also don't want other shinigami to find you. They come here a lot, so you would constantly be in danger."

_As much as I hate to admit it, he has a point…._

''Agrrrr! Fuck tha'!''

_I'm at Urahara's right now. I made my way here, to try my luck. And fuck I haven't got any… _I sigh.

''So where do you think I can find a job? I don' know much about human jobs or what they can do,'' I admit.

''That wouldn't be a problem!'' he exlaims happily, while fanning himself in that idiotic manner. ''You're a young man, with excellent health!''

_At least 300 years old… yeah…_

''It won't be hard to find a good job for you. You only need papers, and I'll happily provide them for you.''

''Where's the trap?''

''There's no trap, Grimmjow-kun!''

_Yeah, sure… _

''I'll do it without a fee. I heard there's a construction site in the rich district, they're looking for more people. Who knows maybe you'll get lucky,'' he remarks as he writes up my papers_. _

_I don't know these kinds of machines he's using. If anyone had anything like that it must've been Szayel, but I never gave a shit about what he was doing._

…

When he finishes, my tea (which I hate with a passion, 'couse it reminds me of that bastard Aizen) is long cold.

''Here you are!''

With that Urahara throws a small mountain of papers in front of me.

''Da fuck is this shit?'' I growl.

''Are, are, Grimmjow-kun. You shouldn't talk like that,'' he reprimands teasingly.

''Whateve'.''

I put my things into a bag the giant's just brought in and storm out of the place. I'm about to round the corner when a hand grabs my shoulder. Out of reflex I spin around and attack with the hopes of…the hell?

''Calm down, Kitty-cat! I'm just here to help you find your destination,'' Yoru-bichy grins in a way only she can.

_She managed to avoid all my hits and kicks!_ _That bitch! What an insult it is for my ego!_ My only answer is a confident ''Che!'' and I continue walking.

''Hey, Kitty-cat!''

''The fuck you want, bitch?'' I growl and spin around to punch the living shit out of her.

_She's annoying as hell!_

''The construction site is this way,'' she smiles with a point behind her.

The grin on her face is impish, sending a nervous chill down my spine. It's clear she enjoys my confusion. _Well excuse me! I didn't need a map in Hueco Mundo, that's why I was always lost in Las Noches._

_There's nothing I can say… what would you say after an epic fail like this? _So without another word I make my way towards her and she leads me to the RIGHT direction.

…

"Sooo…Mr. um… Jar- Jag-"

"Jaegerjaquez."

_Goddamnit! I can't believe nobody can say my name. Is that so fuckin' hard to say? But as Yoru-bitchy instructed I can't yell their heads off because of some 'unimportant' things._

"Yes, right… So you'd like to work here, I assume. But the problem is you don't have any qualification."

I growl in displeasure, and it seems to frighten him a little, as he jumps in his seat. I can feel the corner of my mouth twitch to turn into my fabulous shit eating grin, but I control myself.

"But I'm sure we can find you somthing to do… hehe…!" He says while scratching the back of his neck.

This time I can't control myself, as that large grin spreads across my face like a plague. He leads me out of the container/office. Outside, the building takes place. Some blocks of flats are being built with only the base erected at the moment.

"We need more men who're strong enough to carry the cement bags."

My new '_boss' _points to some sacks. I can see some men try to move them in pairs, but it seems they have some difficulty with it. _I don't know how much this body can stand. Well, I'll never know if I never try._

"So all I have ta do is move some shit from one place to another?" I ask.

"Yes, that would be your work."

With a confident " 'Che!" and a satisfied grin, I stalk over to the sacks and look down on them. It says 50 kg. _Hah! Piece of shit!_

A worker comes up to me. "Can I help you, buddy?"

"I ain't your buddy!" I growl low in my throat.

He looks at me confused, but I don't give a fuck as I reach down to pick up the sack. I can easily lift it with one arm and put it on my soulder. _Oh I think I heard some chins make contact with the concrete. _My feral grin widens at the idea of picking up another sack, and carry it near the building. So I do just that. I have to maneuver between the shell-shocked humans, but I reach my destination and drop my burden with ease.

I look behind me (grin in place of course), to see the boss running over to me. He stops behind me and I turn around to face him. _Hmm, I haven't realised he's shorter than me by at least 1 and a half heads, so I have to look down on him_. The _'BOSS'_! _Oh yeah_. I couldn't look down on Aizen as he was the same height as me.

In the background I can see jelous workers glaring daggers at me. _Hahaha. I'm the King, fuckers, know your places!_

"That was amazing, Mr. Jarquas!"

I can feel a vein throb on my temple.

"You can call me 'Grimmjow'," I say through clenched teeth.

"Ah, yes, right. I need men as strong as you. When can you start?"

"I'll never be able to start, that's why I'm here."

_I tell you, these humans make me go crazy._

"Yes, right. Let's sign the papers then, Mr. Jar-"

"Grimmjow." _That's it! I swear I'm gonna kill him! If I EVER hear him mispronounce my name again, he's a dead man!_

"Yes, right," he says and we start walking towards his office. "So working hours are from 8 to 4 in the afternoon. Lunch is from 12 to 13. Saturday and Sunday are your days off. Questions?"

"How much will I get?"

"Yes, right. As I could see, you'll be more help than the other men, so I'll pay you more than them if you do your work right. As this is an american company I'll pay you in Dollars. So this means $85/day. Is that ok for you?"

"How much is it in Yen?"

We finally reached the office door. The boss goes in before me. As I turn to close the door I can't resist the urge to show the other workers that certain middle finger.

"Around 6630."

I grin and quickly sign for my new job.

…

I'm dropping a sack when I hear the boss yell it's lunchtime. _About fucking time! I was getting hungry. I haven't eaten in 3 days. It's not like hunger with humans. In Hueco Mundo I didn't get hungry for 3 weeks as an Arrancar. Now it's only three days. THREE! I CAN'T BELIVE IT! FUCKED UP HUMAN BODY!_

I find a nice spot where no one can see me and start searching for the pill Urahara gave me yesterday, saying it will help me to come out of this shit of a body when I want to.

_Ahha! I found it._ It's a little blueish pill. I look at it suspiciously, but eventually put it into my mouth and swallow it.

I feel very unconfortable for a second, 'cause it feels like someone's pushing you from every direction. Fortunately it only takes a second, so I can have a better look at my own back. I look my body over, realizing I'm in my soul form. My gigai turns and looks me over with surprise in his eyes. His gaze travels a moment and then he blushes. _He looks so ridiculous! That's why I NEVER blush! _I sigh in irritation.

"Look, ya little shit! I'm gonna go an' eat somethin'. Don't cause trouble or I fuckin' kill ya."

He looks away still blushing and replies. "Y-yes. I-I understand, m-master."_Nah, cool! That Urahara guy gave me a shy pill. That sucks. What will I do with this?_

"Good. Now stay here. If I'm not back at 1, start working. All you have to do is lug those sacks. I'm off."

''Y-yes!"

I turn around and use sonido to get away. I keep reminding myself that I have to keep my reiatsu as low as possible. I stop high in the sky, close my eyes and concentrate. I can't feel any movement. I assume because of Kurosaki and his friends.

Minutes passed. I can feel the reiatsu of a low level hollow some miles away. I charge towards it. It won't be a big meal, but it'll be enough for today.

It doesn't take long to find the hollow chasing some poor soul of a woman.

''Oi!" The hollow looks at me over its shoulder, turns towards me growling the whole while. ''Don't growl. You can't do it as good as I can."

It charges towards me, ready to attack. I take my right hand out of my pocket and slice that supid shit in two. The woman thanks me, but I don't give a fuck as I stalk towards the corpse and start eating it. Out of the corner of my eye I see the woman, eyes wide in shock, take a step back... then two... and then turns around and runs. I turn my head towards her, while chewing on my mouthful of food.

"You're welcome, by the way!" I say after her before turning back to my food.

Minutes later I can feel a Shinigami's spritual pressure approaching. It's not strong at all, but I promised Urahara I won't be a bad boy so I have to move on.

I wash the blood off my face in the nearby river. Looking into my reflection I realise my hair is slightly longer than it was 2 weeks ago. It never grew before. _Nah, I must be imagining things..._

…

I look around confused as I walk down a street. _Not even 15 minutes passed and I'm lost... Again. I can't belive it! How big is this town? I can't use sonido or raise my reiatsu because of those fucked up Shinigami. So annoying!_

I round a corner, and come face to face with someone.

I can feel my heart stop beating, my eyes widen and I stop breathing. But _he_ doesn't seem to notice me. _He_ walks right through me like I'm not there, head hung low and hands in his pockets. The instant _he_ steps into my spirit form, my heart starts to beat incredibly fast. I'm afraid it wants to come out of my chest. I feel my whole body become flushed. _It's hot. Too hot! I can't take it!_

_He_ steps out of me, but I just stand there... eyes wide, mouth open, thinking about what's just happened. _Shit. Shit! SHIT! Oh, no, this can't be happening!_

Without turning around I start running. _I have to get home as soon as possible. That little pill thing will know, what to do without me. I need to calm down._

Within 10 minutes of running I find my way back to my flat (I hadn't realised I came this far from my real destination…). I jump up to my window, put up my art supplies and start painting.

Unfortunately, even that doesn't seem to help me. I'm trembling.

I lay down on the bed, and look up at the ceiling, eyes still wide (_they're gonna pop out of my head if they continue like this_). I close them shut tightly and bury my head into a pillow.

_Oh shit! _He_ did this to me. I want to beat the living shit out of _him_… but I can't…_

"Fuck…"

_Why is this happening to me?_

* * *

><p><strong>OMG! Who is <em>he<em>? What happened to Grimmjow that we don't know? :O Ah.. Sorry... That you don't know. Hehe. xD  
>Well... hope you enjoyed this chap. Sorry for taking it so lond to update, but school is kinda difficult. I try to hurry with the next.<strong>

**Lots of thanks and kisses to those who care to review! =^.^= Love ya guys!**

**Special thanks for Vaerin7 for correcting. Love you, girl. ;)**

* * *

><p><strong>I'm really sorry, that I wasn't able to upload another chapter yet. I have to concentrate on my exams and work too. My greatest apologise! *bows* I try my best, so I'll be able to put up the new chap. =D<br>**

**As a sorry gift for all the Grimmjow lovers: gallery/#/d4ta3jj  
><strong>

**Hope you like it. ;)  
><strong>


	3. Pantera

**Pantera**

"M-master?"

I groan and look up... to see myself looking down at me. Panic sets in and I quicky sit up. Unfortunately, I hit my forehead on his in my haste. I growl as my head clears, and remember the previous day's events. I glance at the poor thing crying while rolling on the floor, holding his forehead. _Well shit. He shouldn't have to watch me so closely._

''Oi," I voice gruffly.

He looks up with teary eyes and I force myself not to puke at the sight, something so unnatural for myself.

''How did you get in here?"

''T-the keys of the a-apartmant were in t-the pocket."

''I see… Now… Get out of my body!" I yell at him.

''I-I can't," he comments with a confused blink.

''Why's tha'?"

''I-I can't get out on my own…"

I can feel a vein throb in my head. _Now what should I do with this little piece of shit?_

I get up and make my way towards him. He backs away, but I'm faster and punch him in the stomach, literally knocking the air and luckily the pill out of him. A satisfied grin stretches along my face. I get into my gigai, and growl annoyance as I feel the thobbing in my stomach where I punched it.

_Well Hell…Now I understand, how shitty it feels when I punch someone. I swear I won't punch my body again… at least not that hard._

I sit up, put the pill into my pocket and look at the clock on the nightstand. _It's 7:33. I have to go to work. _I groan.

_I don't wanna go, not after what happened yesterday…_ I feel my body heat up at the memories. An idea appears in my head_. I still have time for a cold shower._

I rush into the bathroom, strip from my cloths and step into my shower. I turn on the water and let it flow down my overheated body. It feels good on my skin and helps me calm down. I close my eyes in bliss as I enjoy this little piece of heaven, 'cause it won't last for long.

With a sigh I get out of the shower, completely refreshed. I quickly get dressed and leave the flat, closing the door behind me.

I remember the way, so it doesn't take long to reach my destination.

''Just in time," my boss states with a grin. I nod in his direction and get to work.

…

_Aah! 15:48. only 12 minutes, and I'll be free to go home!_

''You!"

I look around in confusion, not expecting them to be talking to me and only looking just in case.

''Yeah, you, with the blue hair!"

I finally notice a man coming towards me. I groan. _What did I do this time? Ahh!_

''The truck broke down. Go and get the stuff out of it!"

_How dare he…? Ordering me around like this!_ I grit my teeth, displaying my sharp canines in my frustration.

''Go, Mr. Grimmjow. That's why I pay you."

I turn my head to see my boss. I growl again, but follow the man. The truck's not far away, fortunately. 200 meters max.

The man goes up to the truck, opens it and starts packing the sacks.

At my 3rd turn I'm really getting annoyed. I push 2 sacks up my shoulder and cross the road. I hear a horn and someone's scream. I look to my right to see a car coming towards me at full speed, but it's too close to brake successfully. Only some meters away.

_Shit!_

I close my eyes in helplessness. A heavy object makes contact with my body, and I groan in pain. I fall onto the ground. I hit my head, and feel warm blood flow out of the wound. I try to open my eyes, but they're heavy. All I see is darkness around me. I hear someone's voice, but I can neither pleace it, nor understand it. I'm lifted, and feel cold air blow against my skin. I assume they're runnng with me in their arms. It becomes harder to keep my eyes open.

I slowly let consciousness slip through my fingers…

…

I open my eyes, to look at the starless dark blue sky. I can see the light of a crescent moon hiding behind the rainclouds. I sit up. My head hurts. I look around to see whitish-blue sand everywhere.

_I'm in my soul form if the mask and hole in my stomach is something to go by._

I stand up. No one's around. _Where am I?_

Before I can start panicking I hear my name being called. I look behind me, but still no one.

''…Grimmjow…" I hear the low murmur. _NOW I'm really starting to panic!_

I back away. But my legs make contact with something behind me. I jump and unseath my sword to cut the thing behind me. But it catches my sword in mid-air. My eyes widen. _Shit I'm in trouble! That thing's as strong as me, if not stronger._

I have a better look at the creature in front of me. It's a woman if her not so big, but not at all irrelevant boobs are anythig to go by. She has white hair, which goes down till her mid-back except a short mop of hair around the left side of her face, wich is black. Her skin is tan. She has a beautiful, girlish face, which is kinda cute. Her cat-like eyes painted in the color of the ocean giving out a calm and collected feel, but a wild gleam glitters within them. Surprisingly her eyelashes were white, but her eyebrows were black. She has pointed, black furry ears. Her nose is so much like mine, but more girlish. She has full, black lips, but they couldn't hide her pointed canines.

She doesn't wear cloth, but the white fur on her body hides all the right places. She has long, black nails on her hands and feet. She has round hips and long, slender legs with her white furry tail around her right one. All in all, she is beautiful.

She lets go of my sword. And takes a step back, showing she's not a threat to me.

''Grimmjow."

Her voice is like fire. It makes me want to run in fear, but at the same time I want to stay and burn... feel the warmth on my skin.

''Who're you?" I ask in an awed tone I attempt to hide.

She chuckles at the comment, a playfulness that's almost feline in her eyes.

''You don't recognize me? Hehe. Shame on me," she purrs as she looks deep into my eyes. ''I'm Pantera."

I look at her for a long moment in silence, and then my hysterical laughter fills the place. I fall onto the soft sand, and start rolling. My eyes water, my stomach hurts, but I can't stop laughing. _That's the best joke I've ever heard! _Slowly I gain control of myself, and sit up. I look up at her. _Fuck, she's serious._

''…Oh. My. God. You weren't joking, were you?"

She shakes her head slowly, and sits down on her knees in front of me.

''This is your soul, Grimmjow," she explains softly. ''You're here for a reason."

''Aaah… You mean, I'm here because I was hit by a car?"

''No. You're here because of what happened yesterday," she states as I tense. ''You know, what I mean… I'm talking about the boy you became one with, when he was in a human body and you were in your soul form."

I nod.

''Look around."

I do just that.

"What do you see?"

''A desert. Rainclouds. That's all."

''But it wasn't always like that. Once, after you became an Arrancar, it was a rainforest. Our natural occurrence. The stars and the full moon shone down on me. The rain nursed the trees and flowers. But one day…it stopped raining. The plants ran dry. They died and all that's left is the desert with the crescent moon and the rainclouds... the only glimmer of hope. That hope is the meeting yesterday."

I look up at her, as my eyes were downcast as she spoke. She's not angry, but sadness reigns within her eyes so alike my own.

''Since that day, your soul's been empty. You know what day I'm talking about, don't you? The day _he_ defeated you. The day _he _saved you."

My anger rises. I jump up, and start shouting like an idiot.

''I don't want this! I never wanted this! _He_ should have left me to die!"

''Calm and sit back down, Grimmjow."

I slump down sulkily, a child being reprimanded. Pantera watches with a humored smirk, knowing exactly what I'm thinking as I pout.

''I know you didn't want this. But it's what your instincts tell you to do. You should know how Hollow instincts work by now. _He _was strong enough to defeat you, but saved you at the same time. You might not be happy with this, but… it's like saying _he_ wants you as _his_ mate. And when the time comes… you'll have to submit to _him_.

''Fuck you! I'll submit to no one!"

''This is not about what your brain says is important. It's your instinct, body and soul. You yearn for _him_. You want to feel _his _touch all over your body, and _his_ alone. Your brain might deny it, but your body and soul can't. Look around! The only thing that brings hope into this place is _his_ presence. You might not like it. But that's the sad truth."

''If I was the one to dominate _him_, maybe I'd consider taking _him _as my mate, but I sure as hell won't let a fucked up little boy fuck me," I shout standing on my feet again.

''Ah… So your only problem is that _he_'s a boy? What's your dream mate than? At least 50 years old and once dead?"

''Ha ha. So fuckin' funny! Can't you see I'm laughing?" I snarl sarcastically.

''Tell me then… Who's your dream mate?"

''I have no such thing!"

''Close you eyes," she chuckles. "Clear your mind of every thought. If you don't see your dream mate, I'll leave you alone."

'' 'Ch! Fine!"

I close my eyes, and clear my thoughts as she instructed. For moments I see nothing, and I slowly find myself grinning in victory, but then…

A face comes into view in the endless darkness. Only for a millisecond, but it was still there. I couldn't make out the face. I concentrate harder. The face comes back a little longer. Next time a little more so. Finally, the picture is clear, it becomes black, but only for a few seconds.

I see_ him…_half of his mask is broken… _his _eyes are black and gold, but look at me kindly… the eyes I hate so much… he smiles…

I open my wide eyes to shatter the picture within my mind_. I don't wanna see it. _But instead of breaking, it changes.

He's towering over me… his zanpakutou in hand… pushing Nnoitora's own blade back…

_I don't wanna see! Let this end!_ I press my hands on my head. _I want to break it. I want to end it! I have to…!_

A hand on my shoulder takes me out of my thoughts… I look up eyes still wide. Pantera's in front of me, smiling. She takes my hand into her's and takes it away from my head. I feel calm, as I look into her beautyful eyes…

''Pantera…I-''

She shakes her head, smiling. Then gets up, and makes her way far away from me.

''Pantera!" I call after her, but she doen't turn around. ''Pantera…!"

The desert around me becomes blurry, my head starts to hurt. I reach my hand towards her as everything darkens around me.

''Pant…"

Everything falls into darkness around me.

...

I groan. _Fuck! My head hurts like a bitch!_ I open my eyes. I'm no longer in my mindscape, but in some kind of room. I slowly get up, but have to stop midway as pain shoots through my head. I realize my head is bandaged.

I look around, it seems like some kind of hospital room. I'm wired to a few beeping machines, and a needle's in the crook of my arm.

I hear the door to my left open. I look towards it, and… _I think I'm gonna faint. _One of the machines start to beep more frequently. I start to sweat, frozen in my place. In the door stand non other than…

''Kuro…saki…"

* * *

><p><strong>My greatest apologies, that I wasn't able to upload it anytime sooner, but I was busy with my exams and work, and Vae also couldn't find the time to correct it. Anyway my greatest thanks to her and all of you, who were kind enough to read andor review. **

**So we finally know, why Grimmjow will be the submissive. You didn't guess it, did ya? ;)**

**I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know I'm a teaser. Sorry, I just can't help it.^^**

**Here is a pic of Pantera for those who couldn't imagine or just curious. :)  
>http :  / shirohyo . deviantart . com / art / Pantera-291046575  
><strong>

**And here's a seductive Grimmjow art AND a badass Ichigo.  
>http :  / shirohyo . deviantart . com / art / Seductiveness-level-Grimmjow-291044719  
>http :  / shirohyo . deviantart . com / art / Badass-Ichigo-300525933  
><strong>

**Here's a fanart for IchiGrimm fans and UlquiIchiGrimm (the latest is NOT yaoi).  
><strong>http :  / shirohyo . deviantart . com / art / Take-me-down-300528071**  
>http :  / shirohyo . deviantart . com / art / Resurreccion-294290896  
><strong>

**Hope you liked them! ^^ Bye!  
><strong>


	4. Savior

**Savior**

''Kuro… saki…"

''Oh. You're awake?" he says with a warm smile.

_Damn it! I'm in trouble! Don't smile!_

He steps into the room, closing the door behind him. He turns around with that sweet smile on his lips. My heart starts to beat faster. _Fuck! I'm melting_. He moves towards me.

''Don't ya fucking dare take a step closer!" I warn him.

He stops instantly, eyes wide because of my warning. There's a wariness within them, left over from the war and the many battles since… but there's also a softness not many can boast producing. He blinks. Than blinks again. He straightens, and puts his smile back on.

''Come on, Grimmjow. I didn't come to hurt you," he states sweetly.

_Fuck this body and it's unwanted reactions!_

''I don't care what you came here for, don't move any closer!"

''O-okay," Kurosaki frowns uncertainly.

Afterward he brings a chair from the back of the room to the spot I stopped him, and sits down on it.

We look each other in the eye, watching the other's moves. I feel kinda stupid, 'cause of it, considering all we do is sit and stare. At least that's what I do. He seems to be deep in thought.

''Sooo…" he draws out to snap me from my thoughts. ''Will you tell me how you did it?"

''Did… what?"

''How did you survive? I mean the other Espada have been killed."

I frown. I swear I've seen Hallibel go back in Hueco Mondo.

''That Arrancar brat you've been traveling with saved me."

''Who? Nell?"

His eyes widen at the thought, the Shinigami jumping out of the chair holding his head. _What's his problem? _

''Fuck I totally forgot her!" he shouts in panic. "Shit! I left her in Hueco Mundo! What have I done?"

_Are you fucking kidding me? He's dumber than I thought he was._

''Calm the fuck down, Shinigami! My head hurts 'cause of you!"

''…Your head hurt, because you hit it…"

I grit my teeth, successfully silencing him.

''As I was saying…" I growl through clenched teeth. ''She's fine. She's with her friends. And don't worry 'bout her. If she could stay alive in Hueco Mundo without you 'fore, I'm sure it won't be a problem from now on."

_He's an idiot._

''O-oh…" he murmurs sheepishly.

_Yes… definitely an idiot._

''I answered your question, now answer mine… What do you want, and how did you know I was here?"

"That's two questions, you know."

''Shut… the... FUCK-UP-AND-ANSWER!"

He takes up a defensive pose, a reaction engrained in his very being after so much violence in his life.

''Ah... you were nearly hit by a car, and um… I saw it, and pushed you away. Unfortunately you hit your head when we fell, so I took you to my father's clinic. He said it's nothing serious, and you'll be okay. You were asleep for more than a day now."

I blink. He saved me… _Shit!_ I feel myself get flushed. My **'chosen mate'** has saved me. _Cool. I hate feeling useless and weak._

''So I just came to see how you're doing."

He snaps me out of my musings with that comment.

''When did you wake up?" he wonders.

''Before you came in…"

''Ah!"

Another awkward silence falls between us for several minutes. Only one question's in my head. _But I won't ask… I... won't..!_

''Why did you save me?"

_Ah, fuck! Me and my big mouth! I really should've learned how to shut up under Aizen. But what can I do? I'm a feline. What's in my heart is on my tongue…_

''I just couldn't see you get hurt."

My heart skips a beat, hope soaring within my chest even as I attempt to beat it down in a bloodier battle than I've ever fought.

"That's the way I am, I can't help it. I have to save everyone."

''Even if it's yer enemy?"

''Ah… no…? But you're not my enemy anymore."

_Than why did you save me from Nnoitora? If you didn't, I wouldn't be so deep in this shit. _

''…Urahara?" Kurosaki questions spontaneously.

''What?"

''The Gigai," he further explains.

I nod.

''Thought so," he muses with a smirk.

Another awkward silence falls down upon us, irritating me to no end.

He looks at me so intensely; I have to turn away from him. I look out of the window to see a little girl walk through the gates of the clinic. A moment later I hear shouts and thumps. I look towards Kurosaki, a bored expression plastered upon his face, as he looks towards the door. Then he turns around, and starts chuckling. I can only wonder what kind of expression dominates my features.

''Don't worry it's like this every day. Karin comes home and Dad goes crazy. Hey dinner's ready, you wanna come and eat?"

I frown_. I don't eat you're kind of food, idiot!_

''I know you don't eat human food, but Yuzu's meals are amazing. You should try them!"

I freeze. _The fuck? He can read my mind?_ I must be frozen for several minutes, 'cause he stands up and walks to the door, opens it, but before he goes out he turns back to me.

''You really should try it."

He smiles and walks out, closing the door behind him.

I blush. _Did he just invite me to eat with him? What am I thinking? What the hell is he thinking!_

***Slap!***

I touch my face, where I just hit it, hissing.

_Shit it hurts!_

_Maybe I can give a chance to this so called 'human food'. And no, it isn't because my '__**chosen mate'**__ suggested it, damn it!_ I slowly get up from the bed, stopping at the edge of it as the room starts spinning around me. The spinning slowly comes to a stop and finally I stand up, strolling out of the room carefully and into a corridor with several other doors. I follow Kurosaki's scent. My senses may not be so sharp in this Gigai, but they're still better than a human's. I walk down some stairs, and find myself in a house. It's more lived in than my own place and simple, though not more so than my apartment. It's not hard to be more luxurious than that, ya know.

''Oh, you're joining us?"

I look down to see a little brown haired girl. Slowly I register what she said, nodding in reply and noting she has Kurosaki's smile. She claps her hands excitedly, gripping my hand and guiding me forward.

''Ichigo! You're friend's joining us for dinner!" she calls happily.

_Great, she's just as annoying as that green haired Arrancar girl! I have no doubts they would get along pretty well. Wait a minute? Friend? What the hell?_

''Hello, boy!"

A man with black hair charges into the room and brakes just in front of me, nearly knocking me down.

''It's nice to see you up and about! I'm Isshin Kurosaki... And you are..?"

_Now I'm totally freaked out! This man's fucking crazy_! I catch myself wondering if this is where Kurosaki got that fucking insane bi-polar personality… they say it's a Hollow, but I have my doubts.

A fist lands on the side of his face, knocking him out. I look with wide eyes as Kurosaki keeps kicking said man. _Okay… hello bi-polar crazy person. Why the hell was he chosen as my mate again?_

''Shut up, Dad! You're freaking him out!"

This entire family's fucking crazy… but it explains so much! I'm not sure whether to fear for my wellbeing or be happy I'm meeting the family of my **chosen mate**, although I'm slowly leaning toward the former.

''Sorry about that, Grimmjow. I haven't figured out what fucked him up, but… he's crazy," Ichigo smile sheepishly as he rubs the back of his neck.

_How the fuck can he read my mind?_

Something touches my hand. I look down to see the girl holding my hand. When she notes I'm looking at her, she grins happily and my heart melts. Maybe not as effectively as when Ichigo does it, but pretty damn close.

''Come on, I lead you to your seat."

With that she makes me sit at the table in front of a black haired girl, who's already eating. The brown haired girl sits down next to her, at the head of the table sits the man, Isshin, if I remember right. Only one place is free. _Shit…_

_And how right I was. Kurosaki sits down next to me. My luck fucking sucks…_

In that circular shaped flat thing used to hold food (I forgot its name, though Aizen used them a lot when he ate) in front of me there's a piece of meat already. I look at it suspiciously. I look around, and see the entire family eating silently with the implements next to said flat things. I watch the Kurosaki family use them, and slowly copy their moves, though I wouldn't say that out loud. After a few attempts I manage to do it properly. Then finally I take a hesitant bite.

_Mmmmm! Delicious!_

I quickly eat everything before me. It doesn't help my reiatsu, but it's better than hollow flesh. I reach for the tool they take the meat out with. But it seems another had the same idea, 'cause instead of touching hard metal, I touch soft skin.

Electronic vibrations go through me. I crawl all over, and become flush again. My face heats up and I start trembling, my eyes following the arm up to its owner's face.

Amused brown eyes look back at me. _Shit…_

''I-I have to go!" I stammer.

I quickly stand up, running out of the house. I hear shouts coming from the Kurosaki family asking me what happened, and to come back.

_Like Hell I will. It's what I wanted to avoid, and look what happened all thanks to myself. I can't even be angry at Kurosaki. Poor idiot doesn't even know what he's gotten himself into._

I can't continue on with my musing, as a ball glides only inches away from my nose and slams into the wall next to me. It bursts, and red paint flows down the wall _(What a sacrilege! Using such a beautiful color like that for __**this**__!),_ forming words.

_**Dear Jaegerjaquez-san!**_

_**I think it's time to come to my shouten as per our 'agreement'.**_

_**Urahara**_

_**P.S.: Those, who think it's like some kind of horror movie are idiots.**_

_That's not what I thought, you fool!_

I sigh, as I make my way towards Urahara's shop. A promise is a promise, and I'm not going back on it just because I'm having a bad day. I sigh once more, my irritation with myself already beginning to bubble over.

_What a day… and it's not even over yet…_

* * *

><p><strong>So this is it. I hope you like it. Happy GrimmIchi day everybody! (Little late, I know ^^') Again thanks to Vaerin7, and all of you who read and review. Thank you very much!<strong>_  
><em>

**Here is my other GrimmIchi gift for you!  
><strong>

** shirohyo . deviantart art / Caught - for - 15 - 6 - day - 308506984**


	5. We meet again

**We meet again**

''Are, are, Jaegerjaquez-san. How nice of you to come and visit me~!"

''Did I have a choice?" I growl.

I'm standing in front of Urahara's shop, forced to show up thanks to our little agreement. As long as I allow him to use me as a guinea pig in his quest for knowledge on Arrancars, he won't rat me out to the Shinigami and will help me as much as possible while I remain here.

''I suppose not. Come in, come in! Let's get started~!"

I sigh, but move through the door into the house. We go through some corridors, until we reach the last door at the back of the house. As we enter it, I find myself in a laboratory full of strange equipment I've never seen… I made it a strict rule to _never_ go near Szayel's lab.

''Ah, Jaegerjaques-san~!" Urahara sings on a high pitched voice, making me turn towards him. ''Please sit down here."

He points to a white chair as he says this, indicating where he'd like me seated. Chains and leather belts are connected to it, so needless to say I'm a bit hesitant to do as requested. Urahara must've recognized my hesitation… I'm positive even a blind man could've seen it.

"Don't worry, Jaegerjaques-san. The chains are for the unwilling clients."

The only thought going through my head at that comment is_ "Clients'! Sure!_"_._

"The leather belts are for easier cupping," he continues. "Aaah, now that you've reminded me! I'll need some of your blood and reiatsu. So will you take your place, please? Don't worry… I'll be gentle."

I ignore his feigned sultry voice, knowing he's just teasing as usual. With a grunt I take the given seat, and make a valiant effort to get myself comfortable.

''Right or left?" asks Urahara.

"Ehh?" I voice my incomprehension.

"Are you left or right handed?"

"Right" I comment.

"Then please put your left hand on the armrest."

I obey him and watch as he ties my arm to the armrest with the leather and belts, picking up a needle with a tube at the end of it. He brings it to the crook of my arm, and I watch in amusement as the nail brakes after he tries to push it into my skin.

Urahara frowns and I can't help but let my worldwide famous laugh fill the silence of the room. This time, however, it's more joyous than bloodthirsty. I catch a slight smile from the blonde shopkeeper, his own delight apparent.

Hours go by as I watch him silently, bored out of my mind and praying he finishes soon. _It occurs to me that Kurosaki may have been in this seat more than once as rare a person as he is… how did he ever survive?_ Urahara could successfully take my blood and reiatsu after about half an hour, while I was picking on him. What kind of fail scientist can't even take a few drops of blood?

Although, in his defense he hasn't harmed me more than necessary once. Szayel would've whipped out the sharpest swords in frustration if he had this much trouble.

_I don't understand why he insisted I stay in this hell of a place. I just wanna go home and do something interesting. Paint for example._

Urahara hums making me turn my attention to him.

"So Jaegerjaques-san… You're an animal type Hollow, am I right in assuming such a thing?"

"You can put it that way…" I say in boredom.

"_All_ the Hollows are animal types?"

"No, but most of them are."

I can feel a vein throb on my temple and I almost face palm, realizing what he's just said. _Not only do I get the needle special, but an interrogation as well… fucking fantastic._

"Wait… This whole time you were working on this shit, I could've just answered a few questions?! Shouldn't you fucking know all that already, Mister Genius Scientist?"

_SERIOUSLY! How much of a fool he is? Even I know such trivial things! It was a total waste of my precious time! That idiot!_

I can feel the armrest brake under the pressure I put it through in my death grip.

_I'm angry, so what the fuck?! Who wouldn't be?_

"Of course not, silly," the blonde chuckles. "I actually found some interesting data that I'd like to further analyze."

"For example?" I ask now with full attention.

"For example? I would like to further analyze the Shinigami part of you. It seems your soul is connected to your Zanpakto, just like with the Shinigami. I even think it has a soul of its own…"

"No shit!" My voice drips with sarcasm. _But seriously… He could've simply __**asked**__ me, so I can go on my way. This is ridiculous!_

"It's also interesting," he continues, unfazed by my irritation "That the hemoglobin content of your blood is much higher than any other human, Shinigami, or Hollow."

_That's it!_ My frustration has hit an all-time high; I've had enough of this place and this stupid shit of a Shinigami, so I stand up and make my way towards the door.

"One more thing, Jaegerjaquez-san."

"What?" I snap with venom in my words, but I don't turn around.

"Are Hollows able to reproduce?"

"…"

"Well?"

"No" I snap.

I exit the room in a huff, shutting the door forcefully. As make my way down the corridor, however, my sensitive hearing catches him sighing before he mutters:

"Huh… Liar…"

…

It's already half past 11 when I finally get home. _I was at Urahara's for more than 4 hours!_

I decide to clean up and go to bed. My head is throbbing and I'm tired as shit 'cause of it. A little sleep will do me a lot of good. At least that's what I thought… until I had nice, wet dreams about a certain orange haired boy.

_Well fuck my life…_

I arrive to work where my boss is less than pleasant, saying how careless I was for getting myself nearly killed. He's refusing to pay me for my little 'day off'.

_I swear this day can't get any worse than this, _I think irritably.

A drop of water falls onto my hand… then on my head. I look up at the sky as it starts pouring like a waterfall. My face falls in irony to a bland expression, mimicking a drowned cat.

_Me and my big mouth…_

"Okay guys! That's it for today, but tomorrow you'll have to work these 2 hours of loss down."

_That's my luck! Fuck you all! Just fuck you!_

I turn to leave, and start walking down the streets towards my home. _It's strange to say home, as I've never considered any place my home since I became a Hollow. I don't know if I had a home as a human, as I don't really remember anything from that time… the time before screeching monsters and empty sensations._

_Anyway… As a panther I don't hate water like some would assume. It's the opposite. I feel refreshed by this little piece of heaven. No matter what others say, water is the only thing enabling people to live in this dimension. I don't even understand these schoolgirls running around me, trying to hide from the water. It's completely useless. The faster you go, the more wet you become. You'll only reach your destination faster. I'm only annoyed by the rain because it'll make my perfect chaos of a hair style look like shit._

I walk down the streets slowly, not really caring and looking at the people amused. Those who run into shops are comical, but I find myself laughing hard as some of them slip and fall in the water they try to avoid.

I hear as someone steps behind me and it stops raining around me. I look up to see a round object above me, not letting the water drops reach me. My eyes travel down its shaft until they reach the hand that's connected to the person holding said object.

_Guess what! It's my blond haired knight on a white horse. The only problem is, he's not blond, not a knight, doesn't sit on a white horse, and definitely isn't mine! But seriously I'm not even surprised to see him. After all he's my mate, right, Pantera? Why do I even care to ask, I already know the answer…_

"The fuck do you want?" I say gently, afraid I might hurt his feelings. _I wouldn't want him to hate me before we are finally one, now would I?_

"Oh ah nothing really. I was just around when I saw you didn't have an umbrella, so I thought you might be happy sharing mine."

I look at him, disbelievingly. My features not changing within the stretch of nervous silence wrapped around Ichigo, conveying I don't believe his sorry excuse of a story.

"Okay, I was looking for you," he sighs in defeat.

"Now that's somethin' I can believe. So… Why were you lookin' for me?"

"Ah well…" he stammers nervously, while massaging the back of his neck. "Umm… Soooo…"

"Say it, you idiot! I don't have time for this!" I shout.

My former fear of hurting his feelings is gone, my patience having been destroyed throughout this damn day packed full of bad luck. My outburst has all of those on the street staring at us, which makes Ichigo even more hesitant to continue. I pretend to start leaving so he'll just spit it out… who knew that would actually work?

"So I wondered if you'd like to go… and umm…. Maybe eat or drink something with me…" he asks hurriedly.

There's a little red band on the bridge of his nose and cheek, his scowl deepening at the realization he's blushing. _How cute!_

"Are you asking me on a date or something?" I grin teasingly.

That small blush evolves, growing redder and spreading to his neck and ears. This might actually be a game that grows on me, causing Ichigo to blush… maybe I'll manage to get him to pass out from too much blood to the face! That's something to work toward!

"N-no… I… ah… We didn't have time to talk."

"Why would you talk to your enemy?" I scoff.

I turn around and start walking down the street again, Ichigo keeping pace with my stride easily as he attempts to salvage his stammered request.

"You're not my enemy…" he states.

I quicken my pace and he's forced to jog after me, keeping this 'umbrella' thing above the both of us as much as possible.

"No thanks, Shinigami. I have better things to do," I growl, while speeding up again.

"Why are you running away from me? Like yesterday," he bristles once his hand grips my upper arm.

I clench my teeth at the action, the skin beneath those slim fingers so skilled with a blade tingling.

"Are you afraid of me?" Ichigo inquires with a smirk.

_That's it!_ My patience has reached its border-line. _How dare he insult my pride like that? _I spin around and punch him as hard as I can. He yelps at the contact and falls on his ass. _He must've been really surprised that I punched him. He should've dodged it._

"Fine, _Shinigami_. I'll go and eat with you. But only because you scare me about as much as a declawed kitten. You're paying, by the way. I'm not wasting my money on your stupid ideas."

He nods and I watch him stand up. Then I turn around to find a restaurant. Unfortunately, that draws the realization that there's a problem…

"Where're we goin'?" I ask looking at him over my shoulder.

He smiles and takes the lead, shaking his head a bit and only looking back to make certain I'm following.

…

"Ca-fé?" I murmur, reading the sign overhead.

"Yeah. So what would you like to eat?"

We're currently at a 'Café' as Kurosaki said. It was not far from where we met, only about 5 minutes. It's a tiny place with glass walls that look upon the street.

_The only thing that irritates me is that everything is so fucking purple! Why would someone paint the whole place with only one color I have no idea._

"I don't care, just order somethin'. I don' know shit about the food in this place, I don' eat it. How bad is your memory that you don't know that, Shinigami?"

"Shinigami…" he murmurs.

"What?" I spit at him.

"You keep calling me that."

_Now I'm really confused. What does he want to tell me?_

"Wha'cha mean, Shinigami? 'M shit 'bout mind readin'."

"I'm not a Shinigami."

I look at him seriously for some minutes, chewing on the back of my cheek until I can take it no more. I burst out laughing, howling as I clench my stomach.

_Fuck, it hurts!_

"Will you shut up!" Kurosaki whispers harshly, his face just as red as his first name. "Everybody's looking!"

And he's right. Everybody in this fucked up place looks at me like the idiot I am.

"Like I fuckin' care!" I say between gaps for air, while I dry my eyes from the tears.

"You should!" he snaps, totally embarrassed.

_How cute! I might have pity on him…_ _Or not! Hahaha!_

He glares at our audience, making them turn back to what they were doing.

"Oh, my hero! You saved me from total embarrassment! I'm flattered!" I cry dramatically clasping my hands together, sounding like a fucking woman.

That did it. He grabs my arms, shaking me violently a few times. The action sends those all too familiar warm feeling through me, making my eyes go wide again. No matter how many times I feel it, it still makes me uncomfortable and fucking hot under the collar.

"Why are you doing this, Grimmjow?! I'm trying to be nice to you, but you deny my approach! What am I supposed to do to make you believe I'm here to help you, to befriend you! I know we were enemies, but that's the past and I'd like to start with a clean slate!"

I look at him in clear shock, his little tantrum as well as the electricity messing with my brain. There's an awkward silence in the whole café and I see the people's eyes on us… again.

It seems like Kurosaki has just realized what he's doing, as he releases me and sits back down with a murmured 'sorry'.

Still stupefied I slip closer to the other end of my chair, away from him.

The chatter begins again around us, but an awkward silence falls between us for several minutes.

"…ore."

It's the only thing I understand from what he murmurs.

"I can't understand ya, Shinigami, if ya speak under your nose."

"I said I'm not a Shinigami anymore."

I rise my eyebrows, but that doesn't stop Ichigo from continuing. His amber eyes are glued to the floor, sadness and loss radiating from him in powerful waves.

"I lost my powers while defeating Aizen."

_Now I understand why he didn't see me the other day._

"So… you're like a weak little kid against a bunch of adults? Now that's rich! Just fucking rich!" I say grinning.

_Hmm… maybe I'll have a chance dominating him, after all…_

"Very funny, Grimmjow, very funny!"

"Bite me!"

The Shinigami… no… _Kurosaki_ sighs and sits back on his chair, massaging the bridge of his nose.

_I know how fucking irritating I can be sometimes. I don't really remember my human life, but I clearly remember my mother acting the way I do and making me fucking irritated when we fought… especially when she won. Like umm… every time?_

"Look, Grimmjow."

Ichigo's voice quickly snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Why don't you talk to the Shinigami? You'd be a great help to Soul Society if you joined them. Who knows… maybe they'd promote you to a captain."

"Look, Kurosaki. I don't care. I shit on them in a way that doesn't even exist," I say, making his eyes nearly fall out of his head. "Anyway, that's not me. Sitting in front of a mountain of paperwork and listenin' to some shit of a Shinigami whinin' into my ear day 'n night… it's not my style. Thanks for the food, Kurosaki."

I smile and stand up, ready to leave before those feelings get the best of me. It already feels like summer in this damn place.

"Wait."

He reaches out for me, but I dodge his low attempt to touch me. Ichigo looks at me in confusion while I look back at him indifferently; it takes all my skill to keep my poker face up.

_No way in fucking Hell I'll let him increase my not so small problem! Just. No. fucking! WAY!_

He starts digging in his pockets, fishing out a piece of light green paper.

"Wha's that?" I ask sizing it up suspiciously.

"An invitation card."

I take the card from him, looking it over curiously.

"F-foot… ball1?" I read aloud.

"Yeah. I have a football match. I'm the goal keeper and we'll play on Friday. So... uh… I'd like you to come and watch me."

"What's 'football'?"

"Well ah… 2 teams are against each other, 11 players in each team and the players have to kick a ball into the goal of the other team. The role of the goalkeeper is not letting that happen."

"So technically… the whole meaning of this game is for 20 people to chase a ball? Well that sounds fucking interesting," I say sarcastically.

"Very funny, Grimmjow, but technically… yeah."

"I donno. 'M a very busy person, ya know," I say, but put the card into the packet of my jeans.

"A-ah…" he sighs, pretending not to be disappointed and failing miserably.

_I might sound so fucking out of character, but I pity him. Who knew my rejection would affect him this much. Poor fool._

Not wanting to see his pathetic face anymore, I turn around with a wave of my hand and leave the café.

* * *

><p>1 Soccer for Americans.<p>

**Huh! Another chap.! It took me long lol. xD But the summer didn't turn out like I wanted to. Oh well...!**

**Grimmjow: Haha! I'll be the seme! :D**

**Ichigo: … *frowns***

**Hyo: No, you won't!**

**Grimmjow: What? Why not? :O**

**Hyo: 'Cause you're always the seme! Let poor Ichi be the seme for once. How can you be so selfish? *frowns***

**Ichigo: Yeah! How can you be so selfish, Grimmjow? Let poor Ichi fuck you.**

**Grimmjow: Look, who's the one talking! *points at Ichigo***

**Ichigo: What?! I'm always the one submitting!  
><strong>

**Hyo: SHUT THE FUCK UP! *throws them out of the window*  
><strong>


	6. Friday afternoon

**Friday afternoon**

_What the fuck I am doing here, I wonder. It was my last idea to come, though here I am…. This noise is deafening, my sensitive ears want to give up and bleed, just to block out the swearing, cheering, singing, shouting and I can continue on with the specification._

"GOOOOOOOOAL!"

… _My… ears…!_

_You might wonder what I'm doing in this 'football' thing, looking down from the so called VIP sector watching as 22 people run after a fucking ball, passing it to one other, before trying to kick into the 'goal', but fail miserably. Well… so do I…. This is a waste of time, but still, here I am, wasting my precious Friday afternoon watching this shit…_

_Well, to avoid any misunderstanding, I didn't want to come. Work ended a little early, so I thought I might take a walk in the other part of the city, when I came across a giant building called the 'Karakura Stadium'. I remembered the game Kurosaki invited me to, so I thought I might watch it as I have nothing to do anyway._

_Long story short._

"Ichi-nii!"

"Onii-chan!"

The Kurosaki sisters shout. _I don't understand why they're so scared._

_But really… Kurosaki fought Aizen and the most powerful of the Espada, like myself, and came out alive, they shouldn't be afraid if a ball hits him or not._

I watch in boredom as Kurosaki catches the ball in his hands before it reaches the goal, landing by his side and kicking the ball back into play.

"That's my son! I'm so proud of him! My son, my son! You're the best!"

_Geez… Can't he shut up? Just for a minute? I feel the urge to punch him bloody but I have to keep myself in control. Even I know not to show brutality in front of 2 little children. Stupid submissive body…_

"So… What do you think of Onii-chan, Grimmjow-san?"

I look down at the brown haired little girl, eyes shining as she clings on my arms, waiting for my answer.

_Oh, how I want to tell her that I'm bored out of my mind, this game is ridiculous and Kurosaki plays like shit, but damn is she cute…._

"Yeah, he's pretty good…"

"Isn't Onii-chan the best goalkeeper ever?!"

_I don't know, I've never met another one…_

"Yeah, definitely."

It seems to please her, as she turns back to watching the game.

Slowly the game ends and I turn to leave, before Kurosaki sees I'm here and starts thinking I'm nice or something.

I look down, as I feel small hands touching my arm. I already know who they belong to though. Only one person is not afraid to touch me.

"Don't you want to meet Onii-chan, Grimmjow-san?"

_Don't look at her, Grimmjow! She's a witch; she'll cast a spell on you. Don't look at her, don't look at her, don't look at her…!_

"No. I'll head home."

"Ooh!" She pouts. "Onii-chan would be so happy to see you!"

"I doubt."

"Come on, son!" Isshin exclaims, as he jumps behind me and pus his hands on my shoulders. "Ichigo invited you, and that means he wants to see you."

"Fine, just shut up, you old pervert." I give in but punch him in the stomach, watching in satisfaction as he collapses onto the ground.

"Nice!" The black haired girls says, giving me a thumbs up. I smirk. _I like this one._

"Come on, Grimmjow, I'll show you the way to the changing rooms." She says and heads out of the auditorium with me and Brownie following her, as Isshin still whines on the floor.

…

The changing room smells like sweet, making me grimace as it fills my sensitive nose.

I look around to see the players of Kurosaki's team talking to each other and putting on some clothes.

"Ichi-nii!"

"Onii-chan!" The girls shout excitedly, running up to a figure.

The box closes to reveal Kurosaki in all his half naked glory.

The girls hug him as he resists saying he's sweaty and smells_. Oh, but holy fuck, does he have the body of a God!_ I unconsciously lick my lips as I watch a drop of seat slide down his muscular neck, down his chest, his abs, catching other droplets on its way down, just to disappear in…

"Ichi-nii, look! Your friend came to see the match; he said he liked your play!"

_Hey! I didn't say it! I just agreed with Brownie, not that she gave me other choice… but still! She shouldn't have said it!_

Kurosaki looks up, catching my eyes in his own. _Oh, those eyes…. Arg! Cut it off, Grimmjow! You shouldn't get a hard on in a little space full of horny teenagers and innocent little girls! _Kurosaki makes his way up to me.

"Grimmjow!" He greets.

"Shinigami."

He frowns. "I told you-"

"Yeah, I remember. Old habits…" He raises eyebrow but doesn't question further.

"I thought you wouldn't come." He says smiling. "I'm glad you did."

"Hey, Kurosaki! Who's your girlfriend? She has some nice ass! Hoo!" I feel the heat rising in my cheeks. _That bastard!_

"Shut it, Suzuki!" he shouts back, face red 'cause of anger or embarrassment. I don't know, or rather, don't care. "Don't listen to them." He says, turning back to me. "They're all idiots."

"We can hear you, Kurosaki!"

"I and my family will go out for dinner, would you like to come?" he continues unfazed.

"***whistle* **Look at this, guys, Kurosaki asked the pretty girl out! Isn't that cute?"

"Fuck you, Suzuki, we're just friends!"

They continue to argue while I have only one thought in my mind, making my cheeks warm up as I look at Kurosaki, trying to protect my pride from that idiot douchebag.

_Why the Hell does this son of a bitch think I'm a girl?! I don't wear a skirt! I don't have boobs!_

_What? You didn't think it would be the date invitation, did you? Or Kurosaki with roses in his hands, whispering sweet nothings into my ear? Blah, epic nausea!_

"You'll come, won't you, Grimmjow-san?" Asks Brownie with hopeful eyes.

_This girl will be the end of me! Be strong, Grimmjow, just say no._

"I don't think it's a good idea. I don't want to disturb your family meal." I answer, hoping this'll be a good enough excuse, why I don't want to be near Kurosaki. This constant urge to jump on him makes me want to give in… or just cut my head off 'cause of the ruination of my manly pride.

"Oh c'mon, Grimmjow, you'll love it!" says Kurosaki, as he reaches out to touch my shoulders. I step back and stare at him, emotionless, though every cell of my body screams at me to jump at him and ride on him so hard he wouldn't be able to forget it until the end of existence.

"Not a chance."

I see Kurosaki smirk as I turn around. Something connects with the back of my neck. Hard. It makes me dizzy. I fall on my knees clenching my head. I hear surprised gasps in the background. Another hit lands on my head.

Only one thought occurs my mind before I black out: _What a fool I am! I broke the 1st role of being a warrior: 'Never turn your back to your enemies.'_

_Fuck… _

…

I wake up. My head hurts. It instantly reminds me of the mistake I made. I look around. I'm in a car, ok, but where?

"Oh, I see you're awake. I thought I hit you too hard to knock you out for so long."

My head instantly snaps to my left my where the sound comes from. Orange hair, amused chocolate brown orbs, smug smirk. Kurosaki!

"You son of a bitch!" I shout, launching myself to knock this orange haired devil over. I seat myself on his lap and raise my fist.

"That was not nice." He frowns.

"And knocking me out was?"

I punch him in the face with all my might, ignoring the electro shock that courses through my body and gives me a 'little' problem down there. Right now I don't fucking care! All I care about is punching the living shit out of him_. That fucker! How dare he Grimm-nap me?!_ I press him between my knees so he won't be able to move. Not like he wants to. He takes every hit I throw at him, making his pretty face swollen and bleeding. I raise my fist to bring it down again when he talks.

"I can't say I don't deserve this but I really wanted you to be here."

"That's not the way to make one come, you dickshit!"

"But it worked, didn't it?" he grins.

"Arg!" I cry out as I try to punch him again but he grabs my hips and, with a fast movement, I was under him, as he was pushing me down with his weight. "Nngh!" I can't help the breathless gasp that made its way through my parted lips.

I feel myself get flushed, my body heating up as our lower legions push against each other. I arch my back unconsciously wanting to get more of the pleasurable feeling. Kurosaki freezes above me. I glance at him to see him looking back at me with wide eyes.

"Grimm…" he breathes as he lowers himself towards my lips. Only 3 inches… 2… 1! Just a half!

***knock* *knock* *knock***

Our heads snap towards the window where Brownie stands.

"Onii-chan! Your dinner has arrived!"

It was like cold water washed over my body. I push Kurosaki off me and he lands between the seats with a loud 'oomph'. I jump out of the car and start running as fast as I can. I don't look, where I'm going, I don't even care, all I know is that I have to get away. And fast.

"Grimmjow! Grimmjow, wait!"

Like Hell I will!

"Go to Hell Kurosaki!" _Get out of my fucking life!_

"Grimm-"

"Fuck off!"

I continue running, though I can't hear his shouts and the sounds his shoes made.

_He nearly kisses me! Me! What the fuck..?! How dare he?! Yeah I might've acted like a whore, but still…! God, whose existence I doubt, please end my suffering!_

* * *

><p><strong>So...Yeah... I'm not really satisfied with this chapter... Shor, took a long time, shit as Hell... I really feel sorry, my readers, but that's all I've been capable of. I'm going through a huge emotional crisis, school, work... I have little free time, and when I do have I rather read other fanfices, paint or draw than write my story... I'm a horrible person! T^T I know. But everything's crushing down on me and can barely keep myself going. So if anyone reads this, I'm really sorry! ToT I'll try to upload a new chap as soon as I can, but don't get your hopes up. I WILL finish the story, I never leave anything half done. It'll only take me time. Sorry.<em><br>_  
><strong>


	7. Under the universe

**Under the universe**

_There are no thoughts, no pain, no feelings. Only the calm and seemingly never ending swirl of colors._

_You don't have to worry about the world outside or the people living in it. All working like good little ants, until they literally work themselves into their early grave. Where finally they'd notice they achieved nothing during their short mortal life... no matter how hard they've tried. Only dark colors will greet you at the end of your life and if you're unlucky enough you'll get another chance to make the same mistakes over and over again._

_But right now I don't have to worry about any of this._

_Just the way I like it._

_But everyone has to wake up someday. I'm no exception._

I blink, as I look at the canvas in front of me. I turn my to take another look at the masterpiece I've just made_. I must look like a lost kitty, but still no matter how many different angles I use, I still can't recognize what the fuck it is supposed to be_. I massage my neck as I walk to the window, looking out at the night sky on this beautiful Sunday. I wasn't out of my flat since that…. 'incident'… on Friday.

I sigh. _Maybe I really should go out. I'm going stir crazy inside this hellhole. No wonder my paintings are like this. Or maybe my whirling state of mind adds to it too._

_Oh god, my head hurts. You're thinking too much, when you're not painting. Shut up, Grimmjow, shut up._

I sigh yet again, for the hundredth time today, as I put on my leather jacket to finally head out. _The park sounds good._

I walk to the door just to come face to face with the one person I've been trying to avoid all this time. He flashes a light pink as he takes a step back, my eyes following his movements ever suspicious.

"What the fuck are you doing here? And how da hell did you find me? Even the shinigamis can't do it, and they have their powers. Unlike you, **human**!"

He looks away, confusion and anxiety written over his still pink face. _He's like an open book, I don't even understand how he was able to defeat me. Oh wait…! Is that hurt?_

"I-… Ehem… I just… you know..."

"Spit it out, damn it! I've better things to do than listenin' to you stutter nonsense in the middle of the night!" I growl impatiently.

That seems to do it as he takes a deep breath and prepares to get his tongue to work. _Fucking finally!_

"I came to apologize."

"Well it sure takes a man a lot of effort ta say 4 words," I say sarcastically.

He turns his head away to avoid my eyes at all costs, looking hurt as hell. _But what the fuck! I didn't ask him to come here! By the way, he still didn't tell me how he knew where I was. The little shit._

"I understand that you're mad at me about Friday, Grimmjow." _Well that's an understatement._" I would be too if I was in your place." _Than maybe you shouldn't have tried to kiss me, you Taigetos escapee!_" I don't know, what came over me… So… erm.. here…"

With that he hands me a box of… something… . It's light and not so big. Easily fitting into my hands. It has a big light blue ribbon over it. _A fucking ribbon, man!_

"Urahara-san told me where to find you." _That striped ass hairless ape! How dare he?! Seriously! _"I-I know… erm… what I mean is…" he looks so lost, trying to find the right words to say, I nearly pity him. _Nearly._

"Fuck," he whispers.

_And damn if I haven't heard him swear a lot, but it's hot as hell! Wait… I didn't just think that, did I? _

"You know, I saw you liked human food, so I brought you chocolate. It's really sweet, and these are my favourite, I hoped you might like them too."

He looks at me with wide, hopeful eyes. _Clearly waiting for my answer. But I won't just go and forgive him just yet. He should fucking suffer for it! _So instead I just nod. His face instantly lit up. _I'm so gonna regret this…_

I step through my door while fishing the keys out of my pocket and close up behind me. I turn around, and yet again find myself only inches away from Kurosaki.

"I start ta get the feelin' that either you come up so close behind me on pourpose, or you just simply don't understand the concept of personal space…"

He blushes again and steps away from me. I glance at him before turning and stalking down the hallway to the stairs.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Kurosaki calls jogging after me.

"If you didn't notice before, Kurosaki, I was goin' out."

"Yeah, erm, where were you going?"

"To the park," I reply shortly.

"To do what?"

"To stargaze. Man, do I even have to tell you how many times I shit a week? Oh! I forgot! I don't! 'Ch!"

"You don't have to act so sarcastic, Grimmjow. I know, under all those layers of sarcasm and anger there's goodness inside you."

I grimace. _Does he realize that just sounds so fucking gay? By the look on his face I'd vote on no._

"We're so not gonna talk 'bout my feelings, understood?" I ask through gritted teeth. _You don't know what you've gotten yourself into, kiddo, even without talking about what I feel._

_We head out the door, and I start to thank every celestial being that he'll finally leave me alone. But he doesn't. He keeps following me to the park, when I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he lives in the opposite direction._

"Why, my holy dick, are you following me, Kurosaki?"

He frowns, as he looks at me, and says, "You didn't dismiss me." And with that he bypasses me and continues towards the park. _Ouch._

The rest of the walk to the park goes in silence. I enjoy it, 'cause it means the little shit shut the fuck up. Though I see, he keeps opening his mouth to say something to avoid the awkward silence (for him, at least). But it seems that he doesn't find a good enough topic to get me to talk.

I lay down on the grass once reaching the park, and put the forgotten sweet thing next to me. Kurosaki lays down next to it, leaving enough room between us to not threaten my personal space. I open the box as I look up at the sky. _In Hueco Mundo there were no stars, as the humans call it. So I find them fascinating and oddly calming to watch them since my stay here. _I pop a piece of sweet thing into my mouth as I continue watching the universe stretching out endlessly above my head. My eyes widen as the flavour of the food overflows my senses. I don't even swallow before another piece is in my mouth.

I hear Kurosaki chuckle and look to my left to see him on his back, smiling at me. He glances down to where the box of sweets lay and takes one out, tossing it into his mouth as he turns back towards the sky. I glare at him intensely, but he is oblivious. He reaches towards the box again and I hiss, so catlike even I'm surprised. Let's not talk about Kurosaki, who jumps and sits up with me following suit.

"Wh-what?" He asks, looking at me with wide eyes and quick breathing_. It flatters my ego that I scared the little shit._

"Don't ya dare eat my sweets…" I growl out, glaring intensely.

He blinks. Then blinks again. Then the light bulb is turned on.

"Oh you mean the chocolate. I've told you it's my favourite."

"But I didn't letcha eat from it."

He looks at me confused. "But I bought it to you…"

"Yea, that means they're mine. And I didn't letcha touch those delicious little nothings."

He looks at me frowning. Then his eyes soften, the corners of his mouth turns upwards, the wrinkles he has 'couse of the constant frowning smooth and- _why the fuck am I noticing all this_, I ask myself, horrified by the revelation. That is until I hear a cheerful laugh that snaps me out of my so not straight thoughts.

"Aaah! You nearly *giggle* had me thinking yo- *giggle* you were serious! Hehehe!" He manages to get out. I continue to watch him with a blank expression. Finally he looks up at me.

"Hehe. Hehe. Hee… e… . You were serious?!" he snaps at me, bewildered.

"I'm possessive."

"I can see that!" he looks down at the piece of… choke-late? and smiles mischievously. _Ooookay. I think I'm in trouble_. "Fine then!"

He grips my jaw, and I let a gasp out in surprise. He takes the chance and pushes the piece of choke-late through my lips before pushing my jaw upwards so I close my mouth_. I soooo didn't think of this outcome!_

I stare at him, clearly in shock, either from the electro shock I just experienced or the thought that Kurosaki was just feeding me. _Probably both._

He laughs and stands up, brushing off his cloths. He turns to me and smiles after he sees my still wide eyes looking into the distance, while my poor brain tries to restart itself.

"One of my friends is having a party on Friday. I was wondering if you'd like to come," I slowly look up at him from where I still sit in shock and nod, not really grasping what he's saying. "Cool. I'll pick you up around 7." He looks through my in-very-bad-shape attire before adding "and I'll buy you some decent clothing."

With that he turns waving back to me over his shoulder and walks away.

I don't know how long I sit there trying to take in everything that's happened, but the Sun is peeking his halos over the horizon by the time I do. Then with a groan I slam back into my laying position, covering my face with both hands as I scream into them. I successfully muffle my desperation.

_Why, you fucked up celestial being somewhere in the universe? Oh, why do you enjoy my suffering so much?_

* * *

><p><strong>Ehe... You probably hate me for not writing for such a long time... Well you have every right to! ^^' My life was really fucked up for the last some... month... But your comments reached my heart, so I sacrificed some hours of sleep to write this. I'm not the proudest of it, but at least we're a chap closer to what matters. I still hoped you enjoyed this chap. And again, sorry it took me so long.<strong>


	8. Let's party

Let's party!

"I um… don' think this'll work…"

"Oh, come on, Grimmjow, you look good!"

"Ya can't be serious! No way in hell am I gonna go out in something like this!"

"I don't understand why you're so worked up about it…"

"WHY?! Maybe 'cause I look like all those young people I see on the streets, stealing from the poor old ladies!"

"You can't be serious…" Kurosaki says, pinching the bridge of his nose.

_So ehem… Yeah… As you can see, me and Kurosaki have a little… clash of views… You see, it's already Friday, nothing interesting that I should mention happened the whole week. Except I could hardly contain my anxiety about this day, when I'm supposed to go to a house party at one of Kurosaki's friend's. Not that I'd tell him that. No way!_

_So here I am, in Kurosaki's house, giving him a terrible headache, 'cause I don't wanna go out in the clothes he bought me._

_It really isn't the clothes at all. They actually look good… nothing fancy… a white T-shirt, a black leather jacket with fur at the neck, dark blue jeans with a black belt and black leather boots. He even went out of his way to get me a necklace with a gothic 6 on it. I must say, I'm quite impressed. He has a good style. Though the real reason is I really don't wanna show my face in public. I mean… these are Kurosaki's friends! How many shinigami will be there?_

_So after this thought struck me this week- after my shock subsided- I was a little bit reluctant to leave my flat when Kurosaki came to pick me up._

_In fact, he had to drag me out of there with me swearing and clawing at every visible surface I could reach._

"Look Grimmjow… If you didn't want to come, you should've told me so Sunday. But you said OK. It took me all my free time to look for the right clothes for you. Let's not talk about the money… and I've even told Inoue that you'll be there. She was so excited."

_Of course you told that bitch…_

"Oh yeah? And what about the others?"

"Erm… well…" he laughs, massaging the back of neck.

_Oh yeah, that's what I thought…._

"I'm so not going!" I snap.

"You promised me you'll come…"

"I did not! I just nodded… that's not the same."

I can see the vein in his head throbbing. He jumps out of his chair, shouting at me.

"You'll come on your own or you'll come unconscious! End of discussion!"

I flinch back from the harsh tone. _But damn… I shouldn't find it this sexy._ _Arg! Concentrate, Grimmjow, you fool!_

"You wouldn't dare…" I glare at him, thinking back to the time he drag me to eat with him and his family.

"Wanna try?" he snarls back to me.

My glare is at full force, my teeth are bared, but he doesn't surrender_. That little fucker…_

"My answer is still no!"

...

"Ichigo!"

_Shit…_

"Mizuiro!"

"I'm glad you could come! And I see you brought your friend!"

_This is so not happening…_

"Ahaha… yeah. Grimmjow, this is Mizuiro. A great friend of mine. It's his house. Well.. his parents' to be exact."

"My pleasure," I grumble.

"Grimmjow, you're of drinking age, I guess. Alcohol is in the kitchen. You guys have fun!"

I watch the little black haired boy stalk towards an equally black haired girl to surprise her from behind with a hug. I rise my eyebrow at this kind of affection_. If someone came at me from behind I'd kick their ass, than ask questions later._

"You wanna drink something?" Kurosaki asks from beside me.

"I don't have your kind of thirst."

"I know but it's to raise your spirit. Come, have a drink. At least there won't be a stick in your ass anymore," he says dragging me towards the kitchen.

"I have nothing in my ass!"

***Yet.***

I blush as Pantera took this exact moment to let herself be known. _Fuck you!_

Kurosaki only chuckles, as he pushes me inside the overcrowded kitchen and pushes a bottle containing a suspicious looking green dishwater in it along with a glass.

"For your wellbeing… I hope this is not tea."

"Tea is not alcohol!" he laughs.

"And tell me, you oh so educated ex-shinigami, how the hell should I know that? I was human for what? Like 16 years? And I don't even remember most of it."

"OH! You remember some of your past? Would you tell me about it?" asks the Woman, who just appeared under Kurosaki's arm. I glare at her. I can feel my jealousy rising. _The bitch dares touch what's mine!_

_Wait…! What the fuck am I thinking?_

"No," I snarl, watching her eyes get all teary and shit. I turn to pour a generous amount of the drink into my glass, swallowing it down in one gulp. I start coughing, gripping my neck. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! __My throat is melting!_

"Wow, Grimmjow! I've never seen anyone drink a whole glass of absinth! Hahaha!" I glare at him doubling over, as tears cloud my eyes.

"Don't you wanna drink, eh, shinigami?" I hiss through gritted teeth.

He frowns, saying "I can't drink. I'm underage."

"You're llama, Kurosaki! No wonder Nnoitora kicked yer ass!"

I grin as I can clearly see the fury in his eyes. _I've got him now. It doesn't matter he defeated Aizen or Ulquiorra, all that matters is he lost against Nnoitora, I'm sure it's a big 'fuck you' to his ego. Mwahahahaha!_

"Fine! Do you know what a suicide train is?" The Woman gasps, and everyone around us turns towards us. _Sounds interesting…_

"No, but it caught my attention," I say grinning. _Challenge accepted. Whatever it is, I'll beat Kurosaki in it. I'll defeat him in a home match._

"The two of us have a line of six shots. All of them are different. You start with the highest proof alcohol till you get to the non-alcoholic. If you're the faster to drink them, you win."

"Hah! Sounds easy!" I grin crossing my arms

"Very well then. Would someone get the shot glasses?"

Mizuiro moves to the cupboard and gets out a dozen glasses, as Kurosaki and I sit down at the kitchen table facing each other. The shots are put in front of us, as we continue glaring.

"From left to right, guys." Mizuiro says.

"Ready?" We both nod taking our eyes off the other and fixing it on the drinks.

"Three… Two… One… Go!"

I pick up the 1st glass, throwing it back in one go_. Shit!_ I grimace and squeeze my eyes shut in utter disgust for the taste. I throw the glass to the ground effectively breaking it before reaching for the next glass. _The more I drink the drinks get weaker all right. Not like I feel much after that absinth and that other drink._

At my 4th drink a great cheering erupts in the kitchen. As I look up, I see Kurosaki sitting, arms crossed with all six of his shots empty, looking smug as fuck.

I groan. _I've lost against him once again… Great._

"No drinking under the age limit, right, you fuckin' hypocrite?" I spit glaring.

_And he laughs! He just fucking laughs!_

"C'mon, Grimmjow! Don't make such a pained face. You should be impressed you haven't thrown everything up."

_Yeah, well, it's not like I'd throw anything up except for the drinks as I haven't eaten human food since I ate those delicious __late-chokes__. And that was nearly a week ago._

Kurosaki gets up from the chair and lurches his way to me, oh so gracefully. He grabs my armpits and takes me out of my seat, while I give a **really** manly sound in my surprise.

"What the fuck, Kurosaki?!" I yell while trying to wiggle my way out of his hold.

"Dance with me!" He says and he **really** sounds excited about it.

_But wait a minute… Dance?! I can't dance! At least not these 'modern' dances. When I was young it wasn't like how we danced._

"Let me go, Kurosaki!" I snap as we near the living room turned dance floor. _With the way the thing I've dubbed a mockery of 'music' blasts from the big black boxes, my ears will likely wave and say goodbye._

"Don't be like that, Grimmjow! If you can't dance, I'll teach you!" He yells over the waves of these unpleasant pulses. _And here you go again with that mind reading thing! I seriously don't know how he does it!_

_He takes me to the middle of the dance flood, and doesn't it suck horse cock? Me in the middle with sweating bodies all around me grinding into each other. Eeew! Disgusting, what these kids do just to get out their pent up energy and hormones._

_They should go and learn how to fight with a sword. At least that's reasonable. They won't get robbed on the streets, and they'll be in good shape, like me._

"Don't worry, Grimmjow. I'll lead you," he says, smiling. _Oh how I'd like to punch that smile off his face._

"'M not worried, shinigami!" I growl.

"Yes, you are!" he laughs.

I glare at him, wishing it was over, 'cause I kinda feel a bit funny now. Everything seems to blur, and the room's spinning when I turn too fast.

Kurosaki takes my arms and puts them around his neck. I snarl and try to take them away, take a step back, and punch him in the face... but he keeps me from it. With his hand on my hips. _My. Hips. WHEN DID I BECOME A GIRL?!_

"Don't worry, Grimmjow, it's just dancing. Be a little positive."

_Knowing this stubborn idiot won't shut the fuck up until I give in I put my arms back around his neck, while intently glaring at him. But he seems pleased, and not at all scared of my famous Grimmjow Glare._

"Move your body with mine. Just listen to the music. Feel it."

_I don't think I've heard something as gay as this in all my nine lives._

"Just move your body." He says in a gentle voice, his eyes crinkling.

_He starts moving his hips in circles, and damn is it awkward! I have to move against him!_

***You talk like you don't like it.***

_No-one asked you!_

"Don't look down, Grimmjow." He says, grabbing my chin, making me look him in the eye. _The eyes I hate so much. 'Couse no matter what all I can see in them is emotions I've long forgotten existed._

_I get lost in his eyes, my body moving with the rhythm of the music. He moves with me, not leading me anymore. We're equal for once. And I find myself enjoying the feeling of this secret sexual interaction. The heat of the moment, our bodies grinding against one other in the most sensual of ways._ Kurosaki places his hand on the small of my back, pulling me closer to his body if possible. I close my eyes, throwing my head back in a sign of total submission.

Kurosaki takes my invitation, bringing his lips to my bared neck, just barely there but more than enough to send waves of pleasurable electricity throughout my shivering body.

I find myself purring to all the sensations I've never experienced in my life. _This is all new to me. The want- the __**need**__- to have him close to me in the most intimate of ways. I feel like I might explode if I don't get what I want._

He reaches my artery and sucks it between his lips. I moan, _'cause fuck, never in my life would I have thought something this primal can be so __**good**__._

"Yes!" I hiss through my quivering lips.

I look down at him. He's watching me, all my reactions, his normally brown eyes blown, pitch black, _and God, does it turn me on_.

He raises his head, nostrils flaring, and I push myself closer, our breath uniting. His body almost shines in feral desire, his posture demanding attention. And he has all of mine.

He leans closer to me, our eyes locked. My breath catches in my throat, waiting for the inevitable to come. But in the state I'm in I wouldn't even try running.

And finally he pushes his soft lips against mine, _and it's fucking fantastic. My body's singing!_ And I still don't find it enough. I pull him closer by his shirt, opening my mouth for him to take. And he takes. Everything I have to offer. Sliding his tongue against mine in a dance of pure desire, kissing me like I'm the air he needs to live. He grabs my ass, squeezing it, making my breath catch in my throat and I let out in a quiet moan.

He takes this as an invitation, biting my lower lip, sucking it into his mouth, _and oh everything that's holy, it shouldn't feel this awesome._

He hugs me to his body, holding me there, and I can feel all of him. His pounding heart, strong and fast, beating against my hand that's holding him in place and pulling him closer all at once. His muscled torso, that's strained from some kind of suppressed urge. His erect-

_Wait… What do you think, you're doing, Grimmjow? This is not you! You're not supposed to give in to some human kid! Giving him all of your firsts, that's what you want?_

_My first kiss!_

My eyes widen, and I turn my head away as fast as I can, pushing against him as hard as I can. Which is not much. But he back off.

"Stop!" I hear myself crying.

_My blood runs cold, but I'm sweating. I'm in shock. _

_I have to get out! I have to get away!_

_It feels like I'm watching my body from outside, hearing everything, but not in control. Like an old movie rolling before my eyes._

"Grimm- What-" he asks reaching for me, but I interrupt him, shoving his hand away.

I look up at him, with panicked, wide eyes.

"Get away from me! I don't wanna see you ever again!" I shout, barely aware that some people around us are watching.

I run past him, his shouts muted by the loud music and the chatter of people. But I can't stop, my body taking me away, far away. I still have no control of it. _I hardly register everything that's happening around me. I just go, trapped in a trance, trying to get away from everything._

_From him._

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><p><strong>Hi everybody! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! :) I know, I'm a sadist. And I'm not even done with them yet. Ehehehe...<strong>

**I took the name 'suicide train' from Idwff's Destiel fanfiction Last Friday Night. Not my credit (They didn't say the actual name of it in Supernatural. :/ )**

**I want to apologise you for being so slow, but my exams take up most of my time. I WILL finish this story. on't you worry! ;) I'll try to be faster next time.  
><strong>


	9. Three months

**The text with **_**Italic**_** is what Grimmjow was thinking **_**at the time.**_

**Warnings: ****Grimmjow's sadistic nature, blood, horror, graphic killing  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Three months<strong>

_Three months. That's how much time has passed since that tragic night with Kurosaki._

_And I still couldn't get over it. No matter how many times I see someone kiss another, I relive that time I had with him. Was it a second? Or a minute? Or more?_

_'Ch! I'm so pathetic... It was so much better when I was wandering aimlessly in Hueco Mundo. No thinking. No rules. Just that fucking desert for as long as you can see. How much easier life was..._

_Then maybe I wouldn't be here listening to this fool crying for mercy; mercy I can't give. Sorry, you poor bastard, but my heart broke the day I died._

_Nothing can mend it._

_Not even pretty boys with orange hair._

"Please! Please... I'm begging you! Don't do this! I have a family...!" The man cries from his place on the ground.

_So miserable, so tiny. Hanging from the chains of the wall in this dark dungeon all beaten up and bloodied. I look down at him totally unfazed. I swirl the bloodied dagger in my hand like the expert I am, watching his eyes widen almost comically. He knows his fate is sealed, but still, he keeps begging. When you're on the brink of death, and you know nothing can save you, you should embrace it with pride, like a man. Not like a little bitch, begging to be fucked._

_But I should probably start at the beginning..._

...

"Grimmjow, please! Open the door! I know you're there. I wanna talk to you... Please!"

I heard his every word, his every plead for my forgiveness. He was doing it for a long time. Sometimes he didn't even go home for days. Didn't he have better things to do?

He threatened me, multiple times...

"Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, if you don't open this door this instant I'm gonna go to the closest shinigami and I'll inform them about you!"

Of course that never happened. I knew he had a fucked up soft heart, he'd never do that to anyone. Well... maybe to Aizen, but he doesn't count.

But even if he was an asshole, he wouldn't be able to turn me in. He can't see shit. He has no powers anymore.

So I was just laying on my bed, listening him ranting about the same things again and again. I hadn't even glanced his way.

That went on for more than a week. He said he had to go, he had school to attend. Like I cared. But he dropped by nearly every day the next week, bringing me different kind of choke-lates. Nice gesture. I just couldn't value it.

They didn't taste so sweet anymore.

Panthera was annoying me too. She just couldn't shut up. I just wanted to be left alone. To sort things out.

"Grimmjow, think. Be rational. He's your mate. He's attracted to you. I know your pride doesn't allow for you to love him, to submit to him... But... You need him! Your soul is so empty without him being there... Just give him a chance... He was so nice to you." she said.

I lost count how many times I've told her to shut her mug, but she didn't relent.

Later she realized 'rational' talking wasn't my thing. She should've realized it sooner, she's a part of me after all. She was screaming at me, telling me what a fool I was, letting go of my mate like that. Not letting him into my life. That I'm gonna regret this. I told her I was completely fine with it.

She hasn't talked to me since.

...

"No."

"What do ya mean by tha'?"

"I mean, Mr. Grimmjow, that you haven't been to work for three weeks now. You haven't even said if you were ill, dead or anything. I'm sorry, but I won't deal with men like you. You no longer work for me, Mr. Grimmjow. You can go on your merry way." My boss- no, my ex-boss said. He was right though. I was dead. And I haven't told him.

_That's a little irritating. I could finally scrape up myself to get out of my shitty apartment and not to walk around like a ghost- which I am..._

"'Ch!"

I turned around and didn't go back. It's just another place to remind me of him.

...

I've wondered aimlessly for days. I chased down hollows. One after another. But it made no difference.

No matter how hard I tried to enjoy the chase, the screams of my prey as I cut them into them piece by piece, torturing them until there's nothing left of their pathetic souls... I felt nothing but misery.

But...

Everything was so gray, so hollow.

Heh. The irony.

I think, maybe I should've listened to Panthera...

I heard footsteps behind me. Moving closer. I felt their bloodlust. I didn't have to guess why they were here. I already know. They wanted my head. Possibly out to rob me, too. But who knows... Maybe they were just doing it for the thrill of the kill.

_I wouldn't be surprised. In a lonely alley in the middle of the night, where no one can see if they take someone's life, watching, as they blow their last breath out._

_They're just animals. Monsters. Just like me._

I heard their steps gain speed. Their sick, sadistic chuckles. They thought they were chasing me. How wrong they were.

I came to a halt and turned to face my predators. There were 6 of them. Some had hoods on, hiding their face. Some had knifes and one guy had a sword, but most felt confident enough to attack me with their bare hand. They were smirking, looking at me with an insane glint in their eyes. Like I was some kind of meat. They were in for a surprise.

"I don' go down without a fight, ya bastards." I informed them, snarling. They were just laughing at me.

"We hoped for it!" One of them cried, his smile widening.

"I don't have time for ya."

They just laughed and separated, trying to corner me.

_This won't work, you unlucky bastards, you found the worst prey you could ever come across. 'Cause this one's fur is not cheap. You pay for it with blood. I've had centuries of fighting and death behind me. And you?_

_Though Urahara said I couldn't hurt humans, self-protection doesn't count, right?_

I smirked as I saw them take a stand all around me. I took my hands out of the pockets of my jeans, where they were resting until now. I looked at them. They were just waiting for me to make the first move.

"Heh! Let's dance!"

"Kill him!" Screamed one of them. A tall, broad man. No doubt their leader.

_I'll leave him last. He'll see his and his men's downfall. Then I'm gonna kill him. Slowly. Enjoying every moment of it._

The one, who was standing behind launched himself at me, jumping on my back, trying to suffocate me. Poor fool should've brought a knife with him to have better chances.

I threw him over my shoulder, making him crash into his... friend? Partner in crime? Whatever.

I smelled their anger as two more jump at me, one with the sword from the left and the other with a knife from the right.

_Oh! They learn!_

The one with the sword, a hooded little shit tries so hard to get me. Poor bastard was dangling his sword. It's as clear as day-light he'd never learned how to fight with it. As a matter of fact, the other one was an amateur too. It was child's play to get out of their way.

"I don't have time to play with you."

He raised his sword above his head, clearly trying to cut me in two halves. The look on his face, when I just grabbed it with my bear hand!

_I'm in a Gigai, but my Hierro still works, Bitch!_

I yanked the sword towards me, stepping out of the way, so it doesn't stab me, but Mr. Knife Guy, who was trying to stab me in the back, thinks me distracted.

_Well, bad for him._

He screamed in pain as the blade pushes into his heart. The other ones stare in surprise and anger.

_So... they were not friends after all..._

He pulls the sword out of that poor fool who collapses, dead.

Well, I don't think he knows that if you pull the only object that stops your blood to flow out of your veins you die.

Other 2 charge at me, but I stepped behind the one with the sword. I kicked his right knee, making him hit the ground with them.

I wanted his sword. I knew he wouldn't let go of it, until I make him do it. So I did just that. I grabbed his biceps with my left hand, and his elbow with the other. I moved both my hands at the same time. I pushed my left one forward and the right backwards with one swift motion, grinning as I heard the bone break.

It all happened in some seconds, I was quick. I picked up the sword and those two, who were charging at me met its sharp edge, nearly cutting them in half. Their blood poured onto the ground and I watched in fascination as their life essence escaped their body, making their shell of bones and flesh hit the ground, their last gasp still on their lips.

And that's when the man behind me caught up to what happened and screamed his agony to the skies, clutching his arms.

_Don't worry, it won't hurt for long._

And I watched as his head rolled onto the middle of the empty, dimly lit street, his lifeless eyes staring back at me in shock.

_They say, for some seconds you see yourself rolling after being beheaded. I wonder if it's true. I'll ask this man if we meet in Hell._

I picked up a knife and turned to the remaining two. One of them was the leader, the other was the man I had knocked down at the beginning of the fight. They looked at me with scared, wide eyes. They know it's their end. It felt so damn good! The power I had over them. To look at them and feel superior! I hadn't felt that good for weeks.

I stalked towards them. With every step I took closer towards them they stepped back. They made a run for it.

_So pathetic! So weak!_

I heaved the sword at the man and dashed after the leader, who attempted to flee from the place. I caught him, and threw him onto the ground. I pressed my knees into his chest, grinning widely as I took off his hood. I wanted to see what he thinks. I wanted to see the suffering, the agony and the venom in his eyes. But most of all, the dread. I wanted to see every little emotion that flickered through his eyes. I wanted to look into his eyes as the last of his light abandons them and all of his feelings leave him forever, to know that he'll be just like me. Confused. Angry. Empty.

I smirked as his eyes flickered to the man, who was choking not far from where he was, his eyes widening more, almost comically. I could understand. The sword cut the man's artery. His coppery blood was pouring out of the wound on his neck, painting the ground red below. He'd die within a minute. What a satisfaction it was to hear him gasping and groaning in pain.

"I should be yer main concern, you slut." I grinned, taking hold of the dagger in my hands. "Where shall I start? Hmmm..."

"No... please..."

I laughed like a maniac.

_As if! Why would I have mercy on him? I'm sure he didn't have mercy on any of his previous victims._

He tried to get away from me, pushing on my legs.

_Yeah, right. Like some humans can push me away._

I took hold of his wrist and with a twist of my hand I could enjoy his scream over his broken bones.

"Thank you for pointing that out. I shouldn't let you get away, right?"

I made sure that every bone of his limbs were broken before I started. I enjoyed cutting him piece by piece. Gods, how good it felt! Cutting off every digit of his fingers slowly. Let him feel, what pain is. I carved symbols into his flesh. The gothic 6 of course into his back, and my markings. But I became really creative. There were many symbols, everything I've remembered seeing during my life. When there was no place left, I started to peel his skin off. Sadly he was screaming and cursing too much, and I didn't want to alarm anyone. I'd have been in trouble.

So I cut his tongue out and gagged him before continuing my ministration. Whimpering and muffled groaning doesn't draw that much attention. Eventually I got too bored with all this, so I slit his throat.

That's when I heard someone clapping their hand. I turned towards the sound to see three men in suits. The one in the middle was clapping.

"It was quite a show you've made." he said.

"What do ya want?"

"I want to offer you a job." he smirked. I didn't like him, I realised. "You can do this all day. Torture people. As I see you enjoy it. And you'd even get paid. I was looking for someone – well let's say - who doesn't mind getting their hands dirty."

"Why would you want one?"

"Why wouldn't I? There are many people, who did wrong with the Japanese underworld."

I glared at him. "I think I'll pass." I growled, turning my back to the men.

"Are you sure?" he questioned, stopping me. "Because I could arrange that no one would know about what you did. There would be no evidence."

"Ya could do tha'?" I ask in disbelief.

"Of course I can. Who do you think controls the Japanese media and police? If you join us no one will know of what took place here."

And no one knew what happened to the bandits who's been terrorizing the slums of the city.

...

_So here I am. Doing the same thing day after day since then. Torturing people, who wronged against my boss. It lost its pleasure after some days. I find no enjoyment in the world anymore._

_I'm turning into Ulquiorra. Nothing can trigger any emotion in me. I'd heard some Arrancar bitches saying it must be 'cause he'd lost his mate so he'd never be able to feel again._

_I thought it was stupid... Until now. But my pride would never allow me go to him on my own. So I can only do the only thing I know how to do._

The screams of fear and agony were heard throughout the silent night.

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><p><strong>... Maybe I should go to the psychiatry... Ah, That would take too much time. I have uni to go to!<strong>

**Anyway I hoped you liked it, as sadistic as it was. :D Personally this is my fav chapter. XD**

**As for comments... A guest wrote me a wonderful comment, I wanted to answear it: Firstly thank you so much for it, I feel really greatful for it. :) As for your questions: No, Ichigo won't have his powers back. This story plays in the 17 months, when Ichigo doesn't have his powers. He doesn't have his hollow powers, his black eyes ment his dilated pupils, not his hollow. Sorry if I disappointed you. :( I just don't want to change the original story.  
><strong>

**If any of you have any questions, I'll aswear it. :)**


	10. The Monster You make me

**The Monster You make me**

_It's too hot! Too damn hot!_

I hear myself groan at the sensations I experience.

_Never in my life/death have I felt something like this before. It's too intense! I-_

I gasp, feeling the cool air hit my overly sensitive flesh.

"Too... many layers of..." I groan again, looking at him with my mouth open as I feel the heat enveloping my body. "cloths on..."

"...Yes." I hear my partner's whisper.

I throw my head back as I feel the breeze on my neck. _Gods, I need more! This just isn't enough._

"I want it all for myself..." I hear his whisper again. I look at his brown eyes through my half-lidded ones.

I shake my head no. "You can't... I'm... Hah! Feels so good!"

"So damn hot..."

"I can't take it anymore..."

"Gods, I hate this damn weather. One day it freezes your ass of, the next it's so hot, you're melting...! Damn this global warming...!"

"Tell me 'bout it..." I sigh as the fan hits my skin again. "Can't ya turn it on stronger?"

"Nope..."

"I can't believe... ngh... the Boss gave us this shitty job... I mean, seriously! We're supposed to... hmmm... torture people, not watch 'em for 3 days straight!"

"Why are we even doing this?"

"'Cause the Boss said we spend too much time underground..."

"I'd rather be in a cell with a screaming victim than out here with you."

"Gee! Thanks so much," I grin.

"You're welcome, dude." Fujita says.

_I like him; he's fun to be around. He's pretty serious, but kind, has a good sense of humor and loves animals. But put a knife into his hand, and you'll regret it if you're on the other end of it. He's a fucking psychopath and he's not afraid to show it. He gives even ME the creeps! And that's sayin' somethin'._

_He has brown eyes, black hair, a straight nose, thin lips and high cheekbones. He is quite handsome._

"Hey, dude."

"Yeah?" I ask, looking up at him.

"That dude with the orange hair..." I tense and it doesn't go unnoticed by him, but he wisely says nothing of it.

"What of him?" I grunt.

"He's here again. At the corner of the house behind you."

I turn around and... _Ah, yes, there he is. With that four eyed, black haired guy holding his shoulder and whispering into his ear. I try to ignore the jealousy that goes through my body. I'll get him back for it!_

_They're hiding behind the wall, but not even those shadows can make them invisible. He's looking at me with those damn eyes. The moment I look into them a shiver runs up my spine. Every inch of my body screams at me to go there and jump him, to end my suffering right here and right now. God, I'm so stupid, I know. I've learned to always trust my instincts, even as an adjuchas I never refused to listen to them. Until now._

I turn back to watching the guy, who's completely oblivious of us being here, across the street of his house.

"Is he your ex?"

"What the fuck, man?! Why do you think he's my ex?"

"Calm down, Grimmjow. I didn't mean to offend you. It's ok if you're gay," he says seriously, not taking his eyes off the victim as I look at him with a mixture of total disbelief and shock written on my face.

"'M not gay."

"It's ok, dude. I won't hate you more for it." _Wow... that's so nice to hear..._ "I know you're going through a hard time. You're completely void of emotions, even when you're working. Well, except for anger... You know the Boss told me how you snapped and killed those gangsters." _And who the fuck told him to reveal my secret to him?_ "I was the same, you know. My wife dumped me for some rich bastard. I went crazy and started torturing people just for enjoyment." He pulls out a cigarette and lights it. "But you know..." he takes a drag of it. "...it seems like he wants to make it up to you."

"If anyone out there still cares... I'm. Not! GAY!"

"You should go to him. Give him a chance. Let him apologize."

"Are you thinkin' yer fucking Panthera or what?" I practically shout, standing up from my seat to glare down at him, trying to intimidate him. "I don't need YOU telling ME what the fuck to do with MY life!"

"Dude, sit."

"I'm not gonna sit down, you bastard, you're not my mother!"

"I said... _sit_," he says, calmly standing up.

_That's it for intimidating. The guy is a fucking giant! Especially for a Japanese man. He's like 1.90 or more. And he's all muscle. You can't see it with the suits we're wearing, but I definitely felt it when we had a funny encounter. You see I was going down the corridor when he ran into me. He apologised, but I was having none of it. I challenged him to a fight. Let's say our Boss wasn't really happy when he got word of us beating each other bloody in the middle of the corridor to the dungeons. So we were inseparable since, hanging out together when we had no work._

"Look dude. I've known you for a long time now..."

"One and a half months...?"

He glares at me but continues anyway. "You're a damned robot in work- Hell even outside work! The only difference is when _he's_near you. It's like you don't even know he's there, but you instantly start acting like a normal human being, not a hollow shell."

I snort. _If only you knew..._

"The kid's good for you. I don't care if you're gay or a pedophile, because I'm positive he sure as Hell isn't 18 yet..."I groan, hiding my face in my sweating palms."...but that's beside the point! What I mean is, you should go to the kid, talk to him, make up with him and fuck him."

_How fortunate that I'm covering my face, I can feel how warm it is... and it has nothing to do with the warm sun of the fucked up day of May. I wouldn't be the one doing the fucking..._

"Don't listen to me if you don't want to. That's just my opinion. All I'm asking for is that you consider it, that's all."

All I can do is nod from the comfort of my cover.

"Get up, our guy is finally on the move. Let's go."He says, taking my hand in his and dragging me away from the heavenly breeze of the fan and the late-choke brown eyes intently staring at me.

...

"Good job, guys. I'm impressed. You showed you're not only good for 'office work'."

"I'm impressed too. Your air conditioning is great. I'm going to move in here. I hope you don't mind." Fujita sighs, lounging on the white leather sofa of our Boss's office. Our Boss only arches an eyebrow at his antics. Clearly he's used to it. I just glance.

"So who wants some nice stress relief?"

"Roboman here."

"Have you never heard you should speak for yourself?" I say glaring. _I guess Fujita might be right though. I need to release some steam._

"I promised the guys I'd go have a beer with them tonight," Fujita frowns, checking at his nails. _This guy, I swear..._

"Is it ok with you, Grimmjow-san?" The Boss says, looking at me.

I shrug. "Like I give a fuck."

We watch each other for a few minutes. He's calculating. _I don't understand what his problem is. The less emotion I have the better I can do my job. He must be crazy. He'd need more men like me and Fujita, who are completely insane and don't care about the other being._

"All right," he sighs finally. "Fujita-san, you're dismissed."

"Hell yes! Good bye, Boss! Have fun, Grimmjow. And for once, try to enjoy what you're doing." And with that he's out the door without a backward glance.

I only grunt in response, nodding to him. _I can't promise anything though. My emotional level right now matches a handful of dead moths._

"Grimmjow-san." I turn back to my Boss. "Get changed into the business clothes. Your man is in wing B, room number 3. And Grimmjow-san! He fucked my whore of a wife. Make sure he knows that I'm heartbroken."

"Got it," I say, standing up and stalking out of the room.

I grin as I near the room where I hear the sweet, musical voice of my victim crying out for help.

_Yeah, right. Like someone will help them. Seriously, I don't understand what they're thinking. Doesn't matter... Boss wants me to cut his heart out, so that's what I'll do. He'll have to lay back and watch it from the front row. Hmmm... I'm interested what Boss would do to his wife..._

"Ple-... Please. Let me out. I-I haven't done anything!"

I look at him, unfazed. _I'm used to them begging. Even if their head wasn't covered with a fucking bag, I wouldn't let them out. Their pleading eyes and words don't make any difference to me. Though I wish they'd stop talking! It's bloody irritating! Hmm... maybe I'll ask Boss to gag the next one so they won't talk. I can always take the gag out if I don't like their muffled screams. Oh the possibilities!_

"Don't you worry, Sweetheart. I'll take good care of you. I would take it to heart if I didn't. Hehehe." _Have I mentioned I find sadistic pleasure in stupid puns when I torture people? I have now._

I heard him whimper as I moved closer to him, my blade in hand.

...

_I've been following him. I know it's not normal, but I can't help it. The way he talked to him, the way he__touched__him! ARG! He'll regret even__thinking__of touching what's mine!_

_No! I have to stop thinking like a bloody hollow! Jesus, what's wrong with me?_

I watch him from the darkest corner of the pub talking and laughing with his friends over drinks.

_Good. Good. The more they consume the easier it'll be to take them down. Not that I couldn't do it when they're sober, but it will be so much easier to knock the others out and deal with him._

_Let's see... One muscled man around his mid 40s with black hair, a thinner, but still muscled one with gray hair the same age, maybe a little younger and Mr. Black-haired-touching-what's-mine._

_Where was this possessiveness coming from? I don't know, but at the moment I don't even care._

"Let's go, guys," says the older black haired one. "I don't want the kids to think I'm falling into old habits again. I fought an alcohol addiction after their mother died, took me a while to pull myself out. By the way you can crash at my place, it's closer."

"All right. Let's go" says the gray one.

_Good. Now that they're moving I can go home slowly too. After I finished my business with Mr. Thief!_

I follow behind them, hiding my hair under my hoody. This color would be too obvious.

I watch as they laugh and cling to each other for support. _It seems Mr. Thief is the more sober of them. Hah! At least he'll know what hit him._

I followed them for quite some time. Until I was sure no by-passer will interrupt our conversation.

Then they reach the 1st street lamp that isn't working and I attack. They didn't even see it coming. I knock the 2 men's heads into the nearest wall. I don't even watch their unconscious bodies fall, and I'm on the one I'm here for.

He already has a knife in hand, and he attacks. I grab his hand that's holding his blade and twist it. But he doesn't release it from his grip.

_He's good. He knows he should never let go of his weapon._

He raises his other fist, but I block it with my forearm before it can reach my face. He kicks me with his right leg in the ribs and I double over in pain.

"Shit! You bastard!" I cry out. I've released his knife hand.

He cuts in my direction but I sidestep it and kick towards his head, which he catches. With my leg in a vice in the crook of his arm I can't move and I can do nothing to prevent him from shoving me back. I trip over one of the fallen man, and I hear them groan in pain.

_Shit! Where are my reflexes?! It's like I've lost all the training I've had. Get yourself together, you idiot!_

"You're..." I look up at him as he speaks.

His eyes are wide in shock. He's looking at the top of my head. And that's when I notice my hood has fallen off. Must've been when I tripped over and fell onto the ground.

Using his momentary shock I jump at him, pushing him onto the ground. He hisses in pain.

_Must hurt to fall with me sitting on top of him._

Using the time he's distracted I hit him in the jaw. Hard. I hear a sickening crack and his cry of pain.

With angry eyes he stabs the knife towards me. I catch it at the last second, inches from my throat. I hold down his other hand. I can't have him breaking free. This is about survival now.

Our hands shake.

_He's strong. No matter how much I try to twist the knife -so it won't threaten my life- he doesn't falter. I have to play dirty._

Using my position on top of him as my advantage, I push down on his lungs, making him gasp.

_Perfect._

I twist the knife in his hand towards his face and with one swift movement I stab it into his eye up to the hilt with his own hands. He barely cries out in agony, as the blade cuts through his nerves, before he goes still; his other eye is looking at me in shock. But not even the tears in the corner of his good eye will make it less lifeless.

I stand up, pulling my hood back over my head. I don't need people to recognize me 'cause of my hair. It's natural, but I hate it sometimes. Makes it harder to hide.

I look down at the dead body with cold eyes.

_Shouldn't have looked at what's mine. Did you really need it?_

_Shit, I have to get out of here. As soon as possible._

I sigh and turn around to get away from the scene.

...

"What does the Boss want from me?" I ask the man.

_I was slowly walking home, business done, enjoying the peaceful night, watching the sky, when suddenly a black car with black windows stopped next to me. Doesn't take a genius to realise who sent the man -who's walking next to me right now-, even if he hadn't said the Boss wanted me back._

_Arg! I mean I know I've left a little bit of a mess tonight, but still... They pay for me to kill! I do it every day! If I leave a mess, there's always the cleaner staff whose job is to fucking CLEAN! He should've just called them after I was finished with that bastard._

The man next to me remains silent. We reach the office of our Boss, and he pushes me in.

"Hey, watch it! These are my only clothes..." I murmur the end of the sentence.

_Even though I get a lot of money, I spend some on drinks, when I'm out with Fujita for a bonding night, but I mostly spend it on art stuff, 'cause no matter what, that's something I'll always love doing. Seriously, having hands was worth being an Arrancar more than the power!_

I look towards my boss.

_He's standing before... a mirror? Yep. That egoistical bastard..._

He pushes up the mirror revealing a hidden safe.

_I've changed my mind.__Clever__egoistical bastard._

He takes his phone out and starts typing the numbers in. Exactly 20 numbers, and opens it.

That's the moment I decide to announce my presence. I plop down on the leather sofa and snatch up one of the two glasses of Whisky that's sitting on the table.

_Hmm... My Boss has good taste._

"Seriously! What now? I was on my way home!" I growl.

"Grimmjow-san..." He says shutting the safe door and sitting down at his desk, a black portfolio in hand.

"Didn't I do a good enough job with cuttin' his heart out? Is tha' it?"

"Grimmjow...!"

"It wasn't my fault he bled all over the fuckin' floor! Ya know it's na-"

"Fujita is dead."

I quiet at that. I watch his cold expression with wide eyes.

_What...? No... That's impossible. He was alive and well just hours ago._

"He was killed" He continues, and shoves the papers toward me.

I look down at them. Documents of him. How he got into the yakuza, what he did, when he did it... A copy of his last will...

I go to the end of the portfolio. There are pictures of him. A lifeless eye. In the place of the other one is a knife, pushed up to the hilt.

_Shit... Fuck..._

I feel anger and a pain in my chest I've never felt before.

_He was a good man. It shouldn't have happened to him. Whoever it was I'm gonna kill him._

I grit my teeth and shut the documents in my hand, tossing it towards my boss in fury.

"I know he was your friend. That's why I didn't let my men kill his murderer."

I look up at him with cold blue eyes.

"Two of my men were with Fujita tonight. They were hit, and knocked unconscious. One of them was woken when the murderer fell on him during his fight with Fujita, and knocked him out cold when he tried to run away after he killed him. He called me and I told him to bring that man here. I thought you might want to take your grief out on him..."

"Who is he?" I ask, glaring.

"We don't know. He had no papers with him. We have no idea who he is. But it won't be a problem any longer."

"Where is he?"

...

"Well, well, well..." I snarl opening the door to the middle of the dimly lit dungeon room. "Who do we have here?"

Head bowed, hands tied behind his back to the chair, legs to the legs of said chair, in a black hoody and black jeans sits a man.

_The murderer of my first and only friend._

"I asked..." I snarl angrily. "Who. Do. We. Have. HERE?!"

And to emphase my words, I hit him in the head with my every word.

He calmly moves his head back to his original position, not saying a word, not even whimpering in pain after my blows.

"What is it? Cat got your tongue?" I hiss at him.

_I can't even recognize my own voice it's so dark with anger and the intent to make this man suffer. To avenge my friend. Oooooh, how I'll love to hear him cry for mercy. And as he's soooooo quiet now it'll be all the more fun to make him scream and beg!_

I move towards the table where all my tools are.

I pick up a scalpel, but I put it down as soon as my eyes land on a knife.

_Who will want to cut his eyes out with such a tiny blade, when I have the same knife here that killed the person I'm about to avenge?_

_Fujita's knife._

He loved this one. I remember, he told me. It was the same one he made his first kill with. Life truly is a heartless bitch.

I pick it up. Ebony hilt with silver.

I walk back towards the man sitting unmoving on the chair.

"You killed my friend. Eye for an eye, you bastard!"

I grab the linen bag on his head and pull it off, accidentally gabbing his hair, making him turn his head towards me.

I stumble back, knife falling from my hand, its clatter echoing in the silent room, as I look into the equally wide eyes of the one I've been trying to avoid for the last three months.

* * *

><p><strong>Happy (late) Easter! This is my present for it. So far this is the longest chapter!<strong>

**Haven't thought of this outcome, have you? :P Liked it? :) Not? :(**

**My final exams start 9 days! Wish me luck! ...I definitely need it... :/**


	11. Baby, don't hurt me no more!

**Baby, don't hurt me... no more!**

_What…? Kurosaki...? No... It can't be him. That's impossible! I haven't known him for long and so well, but I know he would never do this! Killing a person. He couldn't even kill me and I was his enemy! He even SAVED me, for God's sake! Even though I tried to break every bone in his body and punched a hole in his shinigami girlfriend's stomach!_

_This doesn't make any sense!_

"Grimm... jow?" The asks, looking at me with wide eyes. I can see all the emotions he feels in his eyes. It's like an open book to me. Shock, fear, confusion... hurt.

_Why is he hurt? It should be me! He killed my one and only friend!_

"...You? How could you kill him?" He doesn't answer, just continue staring at me, anger replacing the previous feelings in his eyes.

"You fuckin' bastard!" I scream and hit him -after every syllable for good measure- so hard his lower lip splits open, making a stream of blood to flow down his chin and making bruises all over his face.

He turns back to me with his usual glare. It seems he didn't really like my diatribe.

We continue staring each other down, waiting which one of us would give up first.

"What are you doing here?" He asks, his voice is rough and is no higher than a whisper.

_Shall I give him water?_

_Nah! Serves him right. The dead doesn't need to drink anyway. 'Cause that's what he's gonna be after I'm done with him. But first I wanna hear his reasons._

"Fuck you, Kurosaki! I'm the one to ask you the questions! And you answer! Not the other way around! Do you understand what I'm saying, you son of a bitch?" I scream.

_I can't show any weakness to this asshole._

"You might've forgotten, Kurosaki, that even though I'm in a Gigai, but I am NOT HUMAN! I can fuck you up big time, so you better start spilling your dirty little secrets before you're begging me to kill you and end the suffering of your pathetic existence."

I don't even try to contain my anger.

_He needs to know what he did. That bastard needs to know what he fucking did! He killed my friend! I don't care if he kills Aizen or Ulquiorra or even ME! But how dare he murder the only human being with cold blood who's ever considered me as a normal, living, feeling being?!_

_This bastard! I'm sorry Panthera, but he won't get out of here alive._

"Why did you kill Fujita?"

My whole body's shaking with my barely contained rage.

_It would be so easy to end him. To make him scream. To feel his warm, coppery blood flowing through my fingers as I rip his eyes out, as I tear him into pieces so only the fluids of his body would ever remind people he's ever walked on Earth. I've done it so many times before. So why can't I now? I don't understand..._

"I asked you a question. TWICE! Answer me! Before I lose my remaining patience."

"I... don't know..." He mutters, avoiding eye contact.

_How dare he...?_

I hit him square on his jaw, making his head snap to the side with such force for a moment I was afraid his head would rip off. It would be a shame. The real fun hasn't even started yet.

"What the fuck is that supposed ta mean?!" I scream totally out of myself.

_What's happening? Until now I dealt with torturing calmly if not with a little sadism. But it is different. Is it because it's him?_

_No. It must be 'cause how I feel about Fujita's death._

He turns back to me and looks me in the eye.

"It means that I don't know."

He groans in pain as my fist digs into the pit of his stomach. He tries to hunch out of reflex, but he has to realise it's impossible while sitting on a chair and having all his limbs tied to said chair.

"Don't fuck with me, you bastard." I tell him. My voice is a deadly whisper as I look down at his miserable form with cold blue eyes. "I know you're lyin'."

He glares at me, his jaw tightens.

_He really doesn't want to say the reason, right? Interesting..._

"Just get on with it!" He yells, which isn't as scary as he wanted it to be, considering it ends with a series of cough.

_His throat must really be dry. Even though it would be obvious to a blind and deaf child that it hurts him like fuck, he continues. He's stubborn. I give him that._

"You want to kill me, don't you? You've wanted to since the day we met! That's why you came in the first place! Now's your chance, you bastard. Just do it already!"

I grit my teeth. In a second I grip his arms with bruising force and lean towards his face, our breaths merging. He looks at me in shock, his eyes widening.

"Not a chance, Kurosaki. I will kill ya, alright, don't worry, but not until you tell why you did, what you did." I whisper, our faces hardly an inch apart.

"Bite me." He spits.

I grin.

"Well I've eaten a Hollow yesterday, so I'm not really that hungry, but as you wish." His breath catches in his throat to my sadistic pleasure.

"But not until you spill, Kurosaki."

"Fine. You won, Grimmjow." I grin. _This was sooo easy._

He looks into my eyes with his determined ones, as he speaks. "I was jealous."

I recoils. I stumble in my haste to get away from him and I don't stop until my back hits the wall on the opposite end of the room.

"What...?"

_...What...?! I must've misheard it! That must be it. I've just misheard it. There's no way he could've said he was jealous. Is there? No. There isn't. There's something wrong with my hearing. I'll go, see a doctor. Maybe my ears caught a cold, or got some ear-virus. Yeah. That must be it!_

"You've heard me, Grimmjow. You wanted to know the truth behind my actions. So I've said it. I was jealous." He says, glaring at me.

My lips part on their own accord.

_Shit... I've heard it right? Oh, this is so not happening! He must be lying!_

"I've seen you with him. I've seen the way he touched you. Freely. And you've let him. And I knew I couldn't do it." _It can't be happening..._

"I didn't want to kill him. I just wanted to beat the crap out of him. I wanted to make him learn a lesson. Not to touch what's mine. I don't know when these feeling started, or why. But they did, and I felt its darkness pulling me in. I tried to ignore them or to control them, like I did with my Hollow. But these feelings... they were even stronger then my Hollow could have hoped to be." He says, still boring into my soul with those warm, choke-late eyes of his. _He's not lying..._

"When I went to beat him up, he attacked me with a knife. I acted on reflex. Even though I only planned on unarming him, I acted on impulse. For this, I AM sorry. I should've been able to control myself better. But about you, I feel no regret. I only feel... relived. Because I know he's not a treat anymore. I won't lose you to him."

_...What?_

"Grimmjow... Since you left... I wasn't myself. I was just a hollow shell with everything except things that concerns you. I was able to hide it so well from my family, my friends... but I felt nothing, only emptiness."

_What is he talking about? He feels like I did when I was not with him? Is it really true about mates...? _(1)

"Grimmjow..." His eyes soften.

_What does he want to say? What more is there to it?_

I feel my heartbeat increasing speed. I can hardly breath.

"I think..."

_No! I don't wanna know, what you think! Why can't I say anything? Speak, Grimmjow! Or just walk out of this room!_

"I've..."

_Do something, but don't just stand there! Do something! Now!_

"... fallen in love with you. I wanted you to know, before you kill me."

_I've heard of love. Of course I have. Gin told us about it. But I've never felt it. I don't know what it's like. This pathetic, weak feeling that humans and shinigamis have that keeps them going on even though they know they're running towards their demise. But I'm a Hollow. We don't have these feelings. We only have negative ones. But Gin said it's positive. Why would you have such a feeling for someone like me, Kurosaki?_

"Say something. Anything." I look up at him to see him looking down at me with concerned eyes.

_How long was I in my own little world?_

"What it's like? Love?" I say so quietly I'll be surprised if he hears it.

But he had and his eyes soften even more as he looks at me.

"What does love feel like? Well... I'm not completely sure myself. It could feel different for each person, but to me... It is utter devotion to one person. When I cannot be with the person I love it feels as though a part of my very soul is ripped from my body.  
>When I'm with them I get the urge to hold them tight in my arms, to make sure, they're safe.<br>When I'm in love I get this unbelievable feeling... as though I can fly. I could stand on the highest building and scream to the world how I feel...  
>I would give anything for them, even if it meant giving my own life up for their happiness. Because that's all that matters."<p>

My knees give out, and I slide down the wall to sit on the floor.

"At least, this is how I feel, Grimmjow. If I can't make you happy alive, maybe my death will make you feel better. You'll have your revenge." He says, smiling sweetly. "And... If I could choose the one by whose hand I die... it would be you."

I look up at him with utter disbelief.

_Would he really throw away his life so easily? He's a hero! He saved everyone! Did losing his powers really break him this much? Or is it really what love's really about? Total devotion? What about his family? His sire? His sisters? Don't they count?_

I glare at him.

_You selfish bastard!_

I get up without a word, and stalk towards Fujita's favourite knife that I've dropped what seems like ages ago. I pick it and turn around to close in on my victim.

He doesn't seem surprised. He just looks understanding. He never thought I'd chance my mind. He knows I've planned to kill him for so long now.

***No! Grimmjow, please! You can't do it!***

_Oh, Panthera. You're still alive? I've thought you were gone for good._

I stop behind Kurosaki, as he looks up at me with sad eyes.

***This is not you! You would never get so low to kill someone who's unable to defend himself.***

_I've been doing just that for the last 2 months!_

I rise my hand. The knife shining in the dim light that the old lamp gives off from above my head.

***But he's your mate!***

_I'm sorry, Panthera. I've already made up my mind._

He smiles and he closes his eyes, waiting for the inevitable to come.

"I forgive you, Grimmjow."

I don't say anything as I bring down the blade with as much force as I can muster.

* * *

><p>(1) End of Chapter 9<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Hi Everyone!<strong>

**Sorry for the long wait (I kept rewriting this chapter countless times)... and the short chapter... I'm only not sorry for the cliffhanger! Ehehehe!**

**I'm sure you have other things to do, so I won't take your time any longer! I hope you enjoyed it!**

**Have a nice da~y!**


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